Oh wow. This sounds like a relationship a just got out of except I let it drag on for 3 1/2 years. Same thing; didn’t tell people we were together. Basically lived together in my place but I was never at his place, no key, nothing. I’d cook and lean up after him. My life REVOLVED around him. For 2 years he didn’t tell me he loved me. It was only after an incident with another girl that he finally “realized” that he loved me and I meant the world to him. 2 years after that we were done. The worst thing was, this girl he thought he had a connection to had HSV1 and didn’t tell him. So now, I have it. All because I thought if I just hung in there, if I just showed him how much I loved him, if I just kept giving myself to him one day he’d realize how much he loved me and needed me.

It doesn’t happen like that.

You have to do what’s right for you. I know that sounds completely selfish but you are the only one who feels the deep connection and the longer you hang on the harder it gets for you. On the outside, my guy looked great, too. He was sweet and fun and everyone loved him. But on the inside he was a mess and that’s something you can’t fix. He has to do that on his own. In the meantime though, you do not deserve to be put through this.

I started crying reading your story because it’s the same thing my ex said to me. It’s the exact same thing I lived through just for a much, much longer time. Move on. Take care of you and if he does get his life together and wants to be with you in a committed relationship THEN try. But right now all you’re in for is hurt.