Hi Tee,

Yeah I don’t think that he should be able to work in the kitchen, you really need a mentally stable person to be in charge there.Unfortunatly a 72 hour work week is normal for them, many of them don’t speak english and they send money home to their families.

Yeah, he knew we were sitting at that table but didn’t come over until I went to the bathroom. My guy then went to smoke and my previous crush then jus sat there looking into the air so I started to do a bit of smalltalk. He left just before my guy came back. I think that he isn’t jealous because the other guy is now dating another brunette. We haven’t talked about him since January where he asked me if he was still acting weird and that he didn’t like the way he treated me.

Yes, I think so too. He said that he doesn’t take a step forworth only to back away because it wasn’t what he thought it was, and that he wants to be absolutly sure before talking the next step. And after our first kiss he did tell my collegues that he was very happy but he was afraid that I thought he went to fast. But it wasn’t to fast for me, I was afraid he had changed his mind since he hadn’t kissed me sooner (only started to kiss me on my cheek when we said goodbye) He’s a good guy everybody loves him at work and he did ask me if i wanna go travel a when he gets back, I said i could come and visit him in Portugal on his birthday in June (he needs to go to Portugal after Brazil to visit properties with his new job) he really liked that idea. He even told his friend about it and has some ideas of things for us to do.

Yes, we did. He was with me until midnight and he had to take a bus to the airport at 2 am so he could be there for his early flight, he ended up pulling an all nighter since we were together so long that he didn’t have time to rest before going.

He’s just not much of a texter, and it’s causing some anxieties on my part. I’m thinking of asking him to be honest with me, like if he’s feelings changes that he would let me know instead of just stop writing, like so many people have done.

Hi Tee,

I’m alright how are you?’

It’s been two overwhelming weeks lot’s of stuff going wrong (not neccesary big stuff but stressful things non theless)

I finally had the chance to talk to my manager two days ago and today my manager wanted to talk to me about it. Apparently the problem is that none of the agency workers have mentioned it to someone (the manager in charge of agency workers) or our general manager so they don’t have any statements from the people affected, that working in a kitchen is a hard job to be in in general, and then used an example of my collegue not doing her job after being told several times that he doesn’t snap without a reason and that he is a good chef, so unfortunatly I don’t think it will have an affect since our general manager is leaving in two weeks and the people who are willing to speak up aren’t directly affected by it. He then told me to tell people to speak to their agency manager if something isn’t right and then take it from there.

In regards to my guy he left for Portugal Monday to see some family and atend a birthday party/work before going home to Brazil on the 30th. I have been very happy and sad in that sense. On St Patricks day Friday he came to work to celebrate the day/have drinks to say hi to everybody before he leaves. I came back to find that the other guy had taken my spot (we found our own table away from the rest to get some privacy after drinking with them) said something like I wrote you or I’m gonna write you, my guy then went to smoke and the other guy stayed at our table. He retreated into his awkward self. Just sat there. So I had to be in charge of the conversation, something I always hate doing since I’m not good at it.  We had quite a long conersation before he said that he had been away from the group for too long and they probably wondered where he was. It went really well, there wasn’t any anxiety or nervousness in me like there used to be and he and the rest went out to a techo party so we just had it to ourselves without and it became more intimate. He mentioned that he doesn’t start something unless he is sure that he is really interested (he finds relationships hard too due to trauma as well) it made me nervous but then he kissed me and hugged me. It was a really good night our collegues came over with free drinks and they even made us food after the kitchen closed. I left at 2 am so I could get my sleep (had work the next day and we were gonna spend Sunday together) and one guy from the kitchen could say goodbye to him (he didn’t want to interrupt us) they girls working the bar told me the next day that he is really in love but was nervous about kissing me cuz he was worried I might think it was too fast. I really really like him and we had a really good time together the day before he left, but I am very worried that him being away for that long is gonna make him forget about me. He isn’t a person who text a lot, he’s more in the present. He said that it’s not easy for him to be away from me for that long and that he is gonna miss me.

I’m trying to stay possitive and hope that this isn’t gonna end before it really starts.

Hi Tee,

Very very worrying indeed. Well the manager we had pre pandemic were close friends with him and so he could get away with it. The manager we have now is way better and hopefully he will listen.

We seem to have enough staff they just can’t figure out how to make a work schedule that fits. So they’ll have three people working café but not having any shuffleboard bookings until 5 pm. Then last Friday we were only tro people working with fully booked hostel (over 900 beds) and fully booked shuffleboard (now 6 tables) that’s 6 groups of people starting at the same time the previosly 6 groups finish, with no time to turn over the room. The top manager has asked my manager to deal with it since we recived bad review because we are short staffed. I’ll have a chat to the manager about that as well.

Hi Tee,

It’s absolutely mental. I don’t know all the details yet of why he walked out but heard from my collegue (the one who got all these investigations started) that the head chef denied him acces to a restroom, that’s not even legal. Working 12 hours without a break isn’t legal. Good idea I can try and find someone from the kitchen to speak up as well but they are afraid of them, can’t say I blame them. But my collegues who works the café have been bitten by him (he did it as a “joke”) I’ll ask them to speak up as well.

Yeah I really hope we have some time to see each other before, he has a lot of practical stuff that needs to get done, also his living situation has changed but I’m hoping for the best.

Hi Tee,

Yes, it’s way too much. He finishes his shift and then sit and eat working on his computer for an hour or so before going home to sleep. It’s only for two weeks and only cuz he needs a part time job when his home. His plan is to not return to the kitchen when he comes back, but to do reception part time and this other job job part time (he can work from home and decide when he works) so then he will have more free time and not burn out from work, which will be really good for him. And like you say this is circumstances and not him playing games. He’s always been straight forward and kind, and I see him every day at work, so I’m gonna be as supportive as I can. He did tell me that spending time with outside from work helps him take his mind off of the problems and helps him relax so I’m glad that I can have a positive affect 🙂

Hi Tee,

Yes, thank you, slowly feeling better but still very low on energy.

That’s true, and the only one who knows for sure is him and I’m not about to ask him.

It’s going the right direction for me, reacting less and less. I feel like I’m in a better head space now to date, so I can enjoy it rather than it being me trying to distract myself.

When he wrote me earlier this week telling me that he was going back at thf end of this month and told him that I really hope that he comes back since I feel like we are getting closer and being more than just friends. He said he feels exactly the same, which made me happy. He also told me that he is coming back is looking for another, which might be better for us since right now he’s working 12 hour shifts 6 days a week so we don’t have much time to see each other. He is very sweet and even after working 12 hours starting at 5 am he would go out with for drinks with me and stay until 9pm. I take that as a good sign. Hopefully we can find time to see each other before he goes home.

Hi Tee,

Yeah, he has a group of guy friends from outside of work. After we did yoga he started coming to work and party with them. But he’s never had a drink with the boys after work just girls, I too (like X) think he uses alcohol, women and drugs to feel better about himself. I really hurts, I have been through a lot and don’t deserve this behaviour. I think in this case my avoident naturen served me better, cuz I never gave him the same amount of attention as the others. And my colleagues were surprised to find out that I’m still hurtig from it, they couldn’t tell. Same as I have been told that i can hide my anxiety really well, it felt so good telling him i had fun at the staff party (the filming me was a bit weird though) but I really did have a lot of fun!

Yes, I have been seeing him in another light lately since now I know that he’s interessed.

I totally understand if he wants to leave because of the head chef, I really Hope that he gets fired and he doesn’t have to find another job but I am sure we will stay in touch. He talked about going back to Brazil in May for a couple of months and then come back here.

Hi Tee,

Yes he got fired, fairly quickly people are feeling so much better at work now. Now we are waiting for news about the other two.

We had the best time and very healing just to be like family and not have illness be the main focus, they met all my new collegues and the weather was amazing!

I am also doing a lot better and not getting as anxious and dysregulated around the guy. We just had a staff party and I felt really bad before hand because I knew I would have to see them as a couple. we had a double decker party bus (like the last one) We never said anything to each other just staying with our own group but at one point after a quick stop, he walked up and sat right infront of me (didn’t have too there was plenty of space to sit). We didn’t have like seats reserved people were kinda just moving around as they pleased, I was the only one who stayed in one place. So I didn’t like that he sat just right infront of me cuz I knew it was only a matter of time before she would join him and they would make out, and then me leaving would be to obvious that it was because of them since my coat and bag was there, so I just talked to my guy collegue who came up to me. Weirdly I didn’t get that “I feel sick to my stomach” kind of feeling that I always gets around seeing them together. And this time they were making out, like a lot a lot. And then later when his group (the new aussi girls) and everybody else were in the front of the bus and I was in the back dancing with three male collegues (not dancing together but seperate) and he walked down to my end just hanging there. I even looked like he was filming it definitly looked like it the way he was holding his phone, which was really weird when we were in the quiet end, and after some minutes she came running down to make out with him again. Feels like his still playing games.

But I’m proud of myself I stayed and I didn’t feel half as bad as I thought I would. I really did have an amazing time and was able to just enjoy it. I think it has something to do with the chef he has been really sweet. We were supposed to grab a coffe after his morning shift (I was off that day) but he ended up surprising me with tickets to a museum that has been on my to do list for a long time, he also talked about going to a park to watch the sunset but it got too cold so we went to a pub instead. He didn’t sleep at all that night (his dad suffered a heart attack three days earlier) and he did all of that. Even our collegues have been smiling a lot at us. He’s gonna go home to South America in two months to see his family for some time which I completely understand.