Hi Anita,

Yes writing would definitly be best. I’ll write down the mess I have in my head, and we can try to sort it from there.

No I don’t know why they didn’t ask me, hopefully it doesn’t mean anything negative. My brain is always thinking worse case scenario. But doesn’t feel good not to be included.

How short is short enough?

Uhh I don’t know if I’m brave enough to be that direct. I’m terrified, I’ve never done this before.

I was thinking about apologizing for my behaviour (shut ting down) and then tell him that that only happened because i like him so much so i shut down to protect myself. (letting him know i ignored him because i liked not because i didn’t care and also showing him that i too am afraid of letting someone close) then tell him how much i apreciate his effort with the yoga and how thought ful he was, and at the end maybe wrap it up with the turkish restaurant he thinks i should try. Then he has a chance to join me if he wants to.

I really want to emphasize that my rude behaviour over the past months was because of my anxiety and that i like him so much.

Hi Anita,

I feel a lot better now. I’m gonna focus on Apologizing, apreciating his effort and telling how i feel. Keeping it simple. I’m trying to not take a potentiale rejection personally cause sometimes it’s not just  about liking someone it could be a whole lot of other reasons. But I really do hope i have succes with this.

Hi Anita,

Really good pointers! Glad I’m asking before, my message with him not being interested was defensive and came from a very dysregulated state. Definitly not a good idea.

Apologizing for my behaviour, showing that i really apreciate his effort. Tell him i like him find a way to say i think we both struggle with letting people close (showing him we have a lot in common)

And really importantly keep it simple like you said attention defeceit.

Hi Anita,

Really good ideas. I was thinking about apologizing for my behaviour and say when my anxiety kicks in i become rude without knowing (shut ting down, ignoring people) and it’s hard for me to keep a conversation going(he had to constanly be the conversation starter) and then tell him i apreciate him taking time meeting me and give a yoga session (something positiv that I unfortunatly didn’t do on the day) then maybe something like but I don’t believe you didn’t read any intention into this, I think you like me as much as I like you. You had several chanses to cancel but didn’t you could have left soon after the session but you stayed. When you talked about getting something to eat and what my plans where I took that as a I want you to leave but now i am not so sure. Maybe mention that i think we both struggle letting people close (he talks about trauma and psychology) letting him know it’s not easy for me as well. Not quite sure how to end. Maybe I’ve tried reading you for months but I tired of it (letting him know that i have been avoident but only because i couldn’t read him. The script in my head keeps changing.

Hi Anita,

My colleague told me to ask him to go for a walk, since all my commubication with him was online. I asked him to meet up for a chat and he is up for it. And when he said goodbye he called me Kat, he only started doing that after the housewarming before he never used my name so i take that as a good sign. I will apologize for my behaviour and probably say that I believe that we both like each other but don’t know exactly how to go about it. Or something like that.

Hi Tee,

I getting more and more sure that he in fact does like me and did see it as a date. He bought me coffee, brought a pink yoga mat specially for me, bringing his brother along was probably to ease his anxiety and not act as a chaperone. I talk to a friend and male colleague and he too saw all of this as really good signs. He thinks I should ask him to go for a walk and then I can talk it over with him. It’s probably time for me to be the one to take a step forward an and just say it as it is that i like him not quite sure how though.