Hello all,

First of all thank you for taking the time to give me your advice. That in itself is massively comforting.

As asked he is not currently on medication which is where a lot of our problems come from, it’s difficult to know when he’s actually having a genuine relationship based problem and when he’s actually having an episode and that’s where his emotions are coming from. There is part of me that doesn’t want to care about that and juse wants to see the way it’s affecting me, but because we’ve been together for a while I also feel like I have a responsibility to try to understand him and his moods and not just leave him because it’s difficult.

In terms of the self hate that I mentioned. You’re right I think it’s something I dislike so strongly because I see it as an unacceptable trait within myself so it’s difficult for me to understand how someone can self loathe so willingly. Again. I’m not sure if that is his bipolar.

I feel stuck because growing up I lived in a house where my mother’s first option upon encountering a problem in her relationships was to just run and move on, meaning that she never really built a solI’d foundation for herself. So there is part of me that worries that’s what I’m trying to do, and I’m just running away, at the first sign of difficulty. I think adding bipolar into the mix really doesn’t make it a complex situation.

I guess the solution I want is to understand how to talk to my boyfriend in a way that he doesn’t find threatening. I asked him to start taking medication to which he refused and got mad because he feels that I’m trying to banish the things I don’t like about it. Which is partiality true. Is it wrong of me to ask that of him?

Again. Thank you so much for replying. I do really appreciate it.