Hi David,

I’m very sorry to hear that you are experiencing a difficult time and feeling so hurt. From what I have read your uncle does not sound very kind. It is difficult to understand why sometimes people do hurtful things, especially the people who are supposed to love and support you. This sort of hurt has happened to me too. You are not alone even though you may feel so right now, many people have felt let down or hurt by those that they believe are meant to support them. Since you said above that you just wanted to let it all out I don’t know whether you are looking for solutions as such but here goes…

The best thing you can do is to not take it personally and if you can, try to feel some compassion for the person/people who has/have hurt you. In time you may even be able to forgive them. Why would I want to do that? You may ask. The reason to forgive them is to free yourself from the negative emotions that you are clinging onto. Happy people do NOT feel the need to hurt others. I can’t rationalise to you why your uncle did what he did but he sounds like an angry and insecure man if he’s purposely trying to hurt you. See if you can feel some compassion for this angry and insecure man (he will have his own story that you may not be aware of). This is NOT to say what he did is in any why okay – it is NOT, however, it is only by truly forgiving him that will allow you to move forward free of the hurt. You have the power within you to change your emotions. One of the best things I learnt at a Mndfulness Course was that thoughts are just thoughts – they are NOT facts and you CAN change the way you think.

You say that your friends don’t seem to show any interest, I can offer some explanation for this. Often when we feel or think negative thoughts/emotions our perception of reality may become distorted, worse still, when we give out this negativity and we attract even more of it! This is very normal human behaviour but we can break out of this spiral of negativity. Your friends may simply be tied up with their own lives or they are busy fighting their own battles that you don’t know about. Maybe they have felt that you’re not your usual happy self and feel a bit awkward about asking you about it. Whatever reason they may not have got in touch it may have absolutely nothing to do with you personally at all. In fact, they may be wondering why you haven’t contacted them.

For now take a step back, see if you can separate yourself from the emotion and recognise that this is simply a negative thought and it will not last forever. Try to be patient and kind to yourself and find at least one thing you are grateful for in this moment in time. Take a few deep breaths in through your nose imagine exhaling all the negative thoughts and emotions out through your mouth. Really LET GO of it all. Repeat this till you feel more settled. When you feel ready try meditating for a short while again, whenever your mind wanders simply and gently bring the focus back to your breath. If this still feels difficult try going for a short walk and really absorb everything around you – sights, sounds, smells, the touch of your feet hitting the ground.

I hope you will feel better soon.
All the best,
Kath. 🙂