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Katie

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  • #366465
    Katie
    Participant

    Thank you all for these positive messages. It has really helped me put this in perspective instead of just hearing people demonize him or tell me Iā€™m a fool for letting it get to this point.

    I know there are great things ahead of me and I just have to be patient with my healing process.

    #366450
    Katie
    Participant

    Anita,

    I agree that she likely doesnā€™t know he cheated on me with her, that he left me for her, or that I really even exist or that he continues to talk to me.

    I guess I want to believe there is truth to what he says when he says he loves and misses me. He has even gone as far as to say he doesnā€™t want to be with her and ā€œsheā€™s just not me,ā€ but as I mentioned above, he claims to be happy with her. Ā He tries to come to my home which he knows is wrong. Every time he says something inappropriate to me I remind him that this girl would not be okay with the things heā€™s saying and he says he doesnā€™t care. Iā€™m just so confused. Heā€™s working so hard to keep me and itā€™s just destroying me.

    To touch on Peterā€™s point. Throughout our relationship he has accepted accountability for certain mistakes and apologized but always lacked action. He would say he would change but wouldnā€™t. I guess the part of my ex that Iā€™m holding onto is that he was there through the toughest time in my life and he made a lot of mistakes, but Iā€™ve never been with anyone Iā€™ve loved so deeply and has made me smile or laugh as much as him despite the bad stuff. I guess I thought the good always outweighed the bad. I always figured that things happen in relationships and the things that happen can make you stronger, but only if you work together. I guess I have to accept that he didnā€™t do his part, didnā€™t take accountability, didnā€™t live up to his promises, and has created the situation we are in now. Heā€™s only been with this girl for a few weeks and already wants to cheat on her. I guess what Iā€™m realizing by writing this is he has so much work to do inside to change and better himself. I just donā€™t know how to get out from this hold he has on me.

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