Dear WonderLast,
This is actually my first time replying to a post here on the forum. I can’t really give you any good advice on your current situation, but maybe it’s a comfort to know that there are others who are experiencing the same emotions. I haven’t seen or heard from my ex in more than six months and I might meet him soon. The difference is that we’re not living in the same country, but I’ll be going on holidays where he lives in less than three weeks. On the one hand, I’m really looking forward to the trip and seeing old friends and places again that I really love, but on the other hand I dread seeing him there and falling back into old habits. I’m scared that this could ruin my holidays. I also don’t know if I can avoid him because I kept in touch with his friends, who are also my friends, and promised to see them there. I believe it’s similar with the conference you want to attend. It seems to be very important to you, and at the same time you’re scared that meeting your ex could make you feel uncomfortable and keep you from enjoying yourself, especially as it’s also your birthday!
What I’ve been telling myself is that this potential meeting is a real chance for me. It’s a chance to come clean with the past and see where I’m standing. I’ve had lots of ups and downs after the break-up, which is natural I guess, but I’m mostly ok now. I think it’s important to assess in what ways the relationship wasn’t really what you wanted and that it ended for a reason. In most cases, there is no use going back because it would be the same thing all over again (I’ve been there). I’m also at a loss at how to act around an ex after not hearing from them for so long (staying civil is the most practicable I’d say), but I think it’s best to just focus on you for now. Look at all the good things that are ahead of you, the conference you’ll attend that you’re excited about, your birthday and the great time you’ll have there!
I wish you all the best and stay strong