This is my first post at this forum. And I would like to be of help for someone.

Your problem made me think of something Jiddu Krishnamurti said: “Is it possible to be related without idea, without demand, without ownership, possession? Can we commune with each other – which is real relationship on all the different levels of consciousness – if we are related to each other through a desire, a physical or psychological need? And can there be relationship without these conditioning causes arising from want? As I said, this is quite a difficult problem. One has to go very deeply and very quietly into it. It is not a question of accepting or rejecting.”

This particular quote for me, applies to your situation (close to where I am/was), because it talks about how we are insecure with ourselves, and project these insecurities in our lives, relationships, loved ones. Why do we cling to the past? Why we let the past event and future ideas change our present feelings? Why to we need to attach to people? To know not only their actions, but control their thoughts?

Hope this will help you find the answers you’re looking for. Unfortunately only you can find it inside you, but the reward and understanding will be yours forever.
Sorry for grammar mistakes – english is not my native language.