Dear M,

Good for you that you’re typing it all out. I’d say, don’t stop here. You have now written down your fears and your problems… move on to solutions now! Write down your dreams, ask yourself what you want to be, where you want to be. Anything is possible.
Once you’ve done that ask yourself what is necessary to get there, what you need to do. Make a list. And if it’s confidence and and courage you need, then please know that you have that in you. Dig deep, think of situations where you were brave and confident. Like babylaughter said: you can do this!

And only after you’ve done all that ask yourself if it is feasible…. Allow yourself to dream first, be creative. I’m sure you’re inner critic will find it more difficult to shoot things down once you’ve written down exactly how you will do it.

You seem so unhappy now and you don’t deserve that. You deserve to be happy and lead the life you want to live. You are worth it!

I wish you a lot of strength and love,
Karin

Hi Elle,

I was brought up very religiously and was always taught i would go to hell if i didn’t believe in Jesus. I used to love to play outside and I wasn’t allowed to do so on Sundays. I remember being 12, lying on my bed, hearing children play outside and thinking: what if I die now and nothing happens… what if there is no God who says: ‘well done, Karin, you haven’t played outside on Sundays, you’ll be going to heaven.’ So I started doubting when i was 12, but even when i was 21 i was too afraid to actually say i didn’t believe in God, just for the fear of hell.
My story is very much like Lori’s, our church wasn’t about love, it was about judgment. One day i had the guts to just say: ‘I don’t believe in God, or in hell’… and nothing happened. Sounds weird, but from that point on I felt free. I started reading about mindfulness, Buddhism, Hinduism, Yoga and found there was something for me in all those things. Even some things that Jesus has said are right for me, like this:’…I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.’ (John 10:10)

I believe in love. And I believe in being responsible for my own happiness. I also believe in not being afraid of tomorrow (also in the bible by the way: “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:34) ).

I wish you lots of strength and love,
Karin

Hi Anei,

When you open your heart for love, you also open it for pain. But when your heart is open, when you risk that pain, lovely things can happen. Scary though.
I guess there are 2 things you can do:

1 – nothing, you keep it as it is. He is your friend, you have your feelings and you don’t say anything about them. The plus-side is: you can keep hoping that something might happen, that he falls in love with you also. And your heart is relatively safe. If you decide to do nothing, your feelings won’t magically disappear, but you can choose to leave them as they are. Maybe you can even enjoy the excitement. You probably feel these things in your body somewhere – when you notice it’s there, just say (in your head) ‘i feel this and that and that’s ok.’ You’re not ignoring your feelings, you’re just letting them be.

2 – you boldly confess your feelings for him. The worst that can happen is that he doesn’t share your feelings. Your hope will be shattered and your heart may be broken. It’s risky business, but it would also mean being able to move on with your life and focusing your attention on other things. I can’t imagine a real friend would turn his back on you in this case to be honest, all though it may be a little uncomfortable for a while – I guess that’s also partly how you yourself deal with what happens.
Of course there is also that lovely chance that he feels the same way about you… and since you seem like such a kind, aware person that is not at all unlikely! I think that if you decide to take this road that, before you actually tell him, it’s good to focus on a positive outcome – don’t let fear rule your thoughts. You’re inner strength will be there to catch you if you should fall.

I guess what you have to decide is whether this is worth risking a broken heart over. Whether you just want to keep the hope alive, or move forward in your life. Maybe you should just ask your heart. Sounds silly, but that’s what i sometimes do. I’ll just say: heart, what would you do? Funny how I often get an answer that surprises me.

I wish you lots of strength and love, Anei 🙂