You’ve been through a lot. And I relate to you a lot. I was at sea about my whole life, not knowing what will be the future and what I shoush be doing. You’re doing so much better than me. I went straight into depression. My boyfriend left me, and I loved him to pieces. He left and I was shook. Torn apart. I was put on meds. I was in 1st year of my college, living in hostel and I couldn’t attend lectures. So I left the university and came back to my home. Still depressed. I feared if I’ll be able to love again. I felt like I had lost the capacity. After him I never loved someone, I still don’t, it’s been two years. But now I’m open and welcoming new good people in my life. And I am allowing myself to fall in love again. Because I love myself more. Yes I did love him. I did cry, cut myself, tried killing myself but all that stuff helped me move on. And by moving on I don’t mean hating him, instead forgiving him. It takes time. It still does, sometimes I still get all angry thinking of him. But it doesn’t affect me now. He’s gone let him be. I understand your pain dear, but you’re stronger feel the pain and then get out of it. It’ll take time but keep yourself busy. Go to meet people you love. You can’t forcefully keep someone, it’d have been even worse if you had children with him, think of living whole life with a man who doesn’t love you. It’s good that he did now. It’d have been more devastating. Cry and build a bridge and get over. You got a great life ahead. Take care. And if possible please try to go to therapy… It helps…