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k8tyBParticipant
Dear Anita, You are absolutely correct , for the past four weeks I have found myself a really good therapist as I decided to learn a bit more about ME and take care of ME as it was obvious that trying to take care of this one sided relationship wasn’t working as I was confused , depressed and overwhelmed . I couldn’t understand him or his behaviours so all I think I could do was try to understand me and mine.
He’s just text me saying hello , said I was taking the piss out of him last night and it was uncomfortable and , I asked why was it uncomfortable because it wasn’t when he was getting his photo taken with a random woman , that I guess doing it was a whole lot more comfortable than joking about it lol . He didn’t like that at all and said he doesn’t need to explain himself I said no not any more .
It’s over…k8tyBParticipantDear Anita, again thank you for your reply 🙂 I feel sure that this is the right decision for me and my child and with every passing moment it is clear that this is what I must do.
I used to think if I did what he asked and tried and tried that the relationship would get better , but as time went on the more I gave the less I got the worse things seem to become . I can not imagine marrying this man and inflicting what really is sickness and abuse on my child who is happy, healthy and incredibly intelligent. How can I as a mother, watch that light being snuffed out by something so toxic ? Today he has not contacted me at all and it had very little effect on me, I carried on with my day .
I expect I will hear from him around a minute to midnight or get up to abusive texts in the morning telling me how selfish and uncaring I am blah blah blah , its always the same. He told me not to call him today so I haven’t and neither have I texted or anything , he might even block me on whatsapp, he’s done that a couple times before saying he didn’t want me to text him , and he expected me to call lol . I no longer care, I already feel free and there is a feeling in my chest not of pain and fear as it has been these past few months but of hope .
I am incredibly grateful to Tiny Buddha, you and everyone else who has help me to keep my head above water these past few months, even though I only posted a few times coming here and reading some of the posts and sound advice given has made me feel less alone . So to every one a great big THANK YOU xxxx
Peace and Love to all,
k8tyBk8tyBParticipantHi all, thank you for your replies, I asked him to go counselling with me he said we don’t need counselling that we just need to keep communication open etc. I disagreed and said if we are to combine families I think we should go, he said no so I left it. I have considered my child, there is no way I am willing for him to get up every morning wondering what mood he will encounter today, its not fair .
Yes, I’ve thought for a while the relationship is very one sided, I even said to him that he tells me I should do this and that and when I do I still get nothing back . H e always seems to have an excuse as to why he does or says the things he does and an apology is never really an apology and its always my fault anyway . Anita, yes I have decided to end the relationship and yes, it seems like a sickness on his part which he refuses to take responsibility for . I think something in me went from the last toxic interaction. He said him getting that angry wasn’t good for HIM , he failed to see it wasn’t good for US or the relationship , I tried to discuss it with him but he always switches it around as if he is trying to make me feel guilty that I somehow caused the mess.
So yes, its time to give up this relationship as it is unhealthy and not the kind of relationship I want, sometimes he reminds me of Jekyll and Hyde .k8tyBParticipantDear Erica,
You are very welcome. Take care of yourself
much love
k8tyB xxk8tyBParticipantHi,
I’ve decided to make a Vision Board – take pictures and inspiring quotes of what I want to achieve for the upcoming year and put it somewhere visible and hopefully ( fingers and toes crossed ) it will remind me of what I want and keep me motivated.
Have a look online and see some really nice examples …Good luck for 2016 . All the best xxk8tyBParticipantI think we will be having ” The Talk ” 🙂
k8tyBParticipantDear Erica,
I am sorry to hear that you are going through this.
All I can say is that YOU have to take care of YOU because noone else will. The guy that you are seeing seems incapable at the moment of even taking care of himself and that is not your job . Also after just over two months you seem so very unhappy, envision what it will be like in another two months or more down the line ? Do you want to keep feeling like you do ? What does ERICA want and What does ERICA deserve ? Will YOU be happy continuing the relationship ?k8tyBParticipantHi Inky , thank you for your reply . I’m definitely not going to get married soon as I really don’t want to be the nagging …”where are you ?” “what are you doing?” kind of wife . He said the question was inappropiate, untrusting and out of order and didn’t deserve an answer to which I said that I didn’t agree. He said if I come at him the way I did by saying he blatantly refused to answer the question he won’t tell me who he was talking to and what it was about. He also said calling him blatant made it seem as if he was doing something wrong.
I must say that I went out for half an hour after trying to talk to him yesterday and when I got back he was better and started saying he was on the phone with a friend overseas. The whole thing left a very sour taste in my mouth and I didn’t quite believe him then??
I know right Anita !!! why not just SAY, I really didn’t expect the reaction I got which leaves me feeling rather suspicious and i really, really dislike that feeling 🙁
And Kaye thank you xk8tyBParticipantHe was an hour late for dinner on Thursday night, he didn’t apologise or offer an explanation and when I asked why he just said …I thought you said dinner was going to be late anyway.
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