@xenopustex

I used to believe in this kind of stuff but I’ve became more sceptical about it over the past year or so. Although there were times in my life when I thought this kind of thing was happening – things would go according to plan a bit too conveniently, I came across many bizarre coincidences. I don’t want to live my life based on wishful thinking anymore. We can’t always have things our own way, and if we did what would we learn? I always found that when things did go as I’d hoped, there was always a downside to it as well.

I’m not saying I became a hardened sceptic – I like to think I’m still pretty open-minded about it but like I said, I don’t live my life according to this.

Just my two pence on the subject – I wrote another forum post on this a few months back.

Joe

Gary

I live in the moment when I go for long walks – especially around this time of year. Some people sit on the floor and meditate – for me, walking is my form of meditation. My favourite time of day to walk is around sunset – I really do stay present when I see a really nice sunset. Bright colours shining through overcast clouds…I love overcast weather and when the sky is a mix of bright sunny colours with moody dark clouds. It’s so fleeting – it’s going to take on a completely different form the next day, when it’s gone it’s gone so looking at this painting in the sky kind of forces me to be present and take it all in as much as possible. I probably sound extremely trite and pretentious as I type this but I can’t explain it any other way *cackles*

I lived in the moment earlier today when I walked through a brief torrential rainfall on the way back from the supermarket (just when you think the weather is nice, it rains – only in England!) I love heavy rainfalls and overcast, muggy weather in the summer (I’m just weird like that) – I wasn’t in any rush to get indoors, I just walked as usual. I had to move away from being in the present moment when I realised I needed to rush back, I’d left my art supplies out in the back garden earlier!

Joe

Gary

I’m sorry I didn’t respond to your e-mail sooner – it’s been a hectic past few days, I was up in Manchester yesterday…

This has been really interesting to read. I am familiar with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (we had to look into this when I was taking my adult education night-class last year.)

But with regards to the question at hand – what hinders emotional maturity – I would like to suggest that being surrounded by toxic people could be a cause to this – projecting many of the negative emotions that you have mentioned in the list. Criticism. Abuse. Expectations. Maybe some people are unaware that they are poisoning a relationship – These people have their own dramas, their own dilemmas…Being around these people who deliberately or unintentionally do or say something which creates distress and disrupts the state of emotional equilibrium that the person was in.

Unfortunately many people I have come to know can’t handle criticism, yet it’s somehow okay for them to criticise others. There’s this unwritten expectation that people are expected to just grin and bear it and I just have to put up with whatever crap comes their way – they bottle it up and the seething resentment starts to build up. You think you know someone but suddenly and unexpectedly, things can turn really ugly.

But what do I know? I’m no psychologist!

I just can’t conceive the possibility of ever reaching a point where I would be able to not feel negative emotions. Maybe that’s just me being a cynical pessimist. I think people are condemned to constantly play this tennis match between feeling good things and feeling bad things towards other people, I just can’t imagine being in a state of perpetual equilibrium between the two…The best I can hope for is to learn to accept the fact that I am stubborn and some people just rub me the wrong way. Personalities clash, there will always be people I don’t like or people who put me on edge, and who will irritate me to the point where my inner calm is disrupted or threatened.

What are your thoughts on this?

Joe

Welcome to the forums Shan! I hope you will find your time on the forums enjoyable 😀

Jorge

Five years from now, I want to travel, to have gained a TEFL qualification to teach English, and to carry on working as a freelance writer and illustrator as I travel. Five years from now I want to be in a position where I can move out of my parents home and carry on travelling and working. I also want to be the healthiest version of me so far, because I take my health more seriously now than I did when I was younger.

But I am also aware that I won’t accomplish any of these things unless I try and work hard, and even then there is always the possibility that things will not work out.

There have been times when I thought everything was going to work out exactly as I had imagined it but I have learned that sometimes nothing ever goes to plan. Sometimes it just didn’t work out at all, and I was left disappointed. I’m not knocking visualisation – I can’t help but visualise the desired outcome on something because it motivates me to take action but these days I have to allow myself the possibility that it won’t always work out.

My questions to you, Jorge – where were you 5 years ago? What was life like for you? Did you imagine where you would be 5 years from then (now)? What were your hopes back then?

Please post again 😀

Joe

Gary

The kind of genres I listen to which trigger really strong emotional triggers and the synaesthesia – I’m really into electronica and synth rock – the more slow, ambient, atmospheric kind (a lot of the later stuff by Depeche Mode, Bjork), dream-pop and shoegaze bands (My Bloody Valentine, Cocteau Twins, Lush) and lately I want to listen to more instrumental, world music and classical music. These are the types that strongly resonate within me and which trigger the stronger emotional responses and imagery – some are moody and introspective, some are really uplifting – it depends on the song. That’s not to say every song or every genre will instantly make me perceive a colour or image – it’s kind of hard to explain this.

I have read the blog post – I will make a point of reading more of those blog posts, I have only glanced at some of the other posts but from what I can gather I would probably find them fascinating.

Joe

@emanatepresence

Cannabis is one of those topics I am quite ambivalent about – I have tried it before and I didn’t really have any good experiences from it. Perhaps it was a bad strain of cannabis, who knows – because of these bad experiences (paranoia, mistrust, worsening anxiety), the negative pre-conceptions I had about cannabis use and living with parasitical housemates who smoked it all the time (amongst other things), I don’t think I have any desire to try it again.

Having said this, I have read about some of the medical benefits. I have deduced that cannabis probably isn’t for everybody – I am not a cannabis person, sometimes I wish I was but I’m not. Some people are able to have great experiences with it. I have had bad experiences with it.

I would love to read more about your thoughts on this.

Joe

@emanatepresence

There are lots of things which trigger strong emotional reactions, I guess mainly negative reactions. I watched a film a few years ago entitled “What the bleep do we know?” (it was about things like quantum physics, psychology, spirituality – the kind of stuff I love to read about) and they explored the idea of neuronets – you experience something, it creates a strong neural link with external stimuli, the more you experience that thing, the stronger the neural link becomes, the stronger the emotional reaction (what do I know, I’m not a neuroscientist!)

Mostly my triggers just bring about memories of people I have grown to resent strongly – mainly things similar to that person or just things that the person really enjoyed. I don’t like to watch wrestling, I don’t like to watch Dr Who, I don’t like listening to particular bands, I don’t like any of these things because the people I had strong negative feelings towards were obsessed with those things. Every time I see those things, I just have a strong aversion to them – I can’t watch, look or dwell on those things for too long without the strong feelings of bitterness and resentment I hold towards that person flooding back (mostly unresolved issues) It’s the same with photographs of that particular person, I just can’t bring myself to look at them or even read their name.

But having said that, I get some strong positive triggers from listening to music. The other month I found out about a condition known as synaesthesia – “Synesthesia (also spelled synæsthesia or synaesthesia; from the Ancient Greek σύν syn, “together”, and αἴσθησις aisthēsis, “sensation”) is a neurological phenomenon in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway.” I had grown up assuming everybody could “hear colours” – as long as I could remember I just perceived certain songs and tunes as being a particular colour, I would perceive some songs as being purple, some orange and it would trigger strong kaleidoscopes of colours and imagery in my mind. Some songs make me imagine vivid places and fantasy worlds. Some songs do trigger things I thought I had long forgotten about as well. Lately I’m trying to make more of an effort to listen to classical, ambient and world music.

Thankyou for sharing, I have found your story most fascinating.

Joe