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JusParticipant
Dear Nikki:
Thank you for your reply.
It is priceless to see things from new angles, although, yes, it is quite sad, too. I cannot not agree with the part about the motivation: “If he really is who he says he is, and you are that important to him, he would find a way to get to you.”
Thank you for the good wishes!
JusParticipantDear Anita:
Thank you so much for good wishes and your thoughtful responses.
JusParticipantDear Tommy:
Thank you for your reply. When I read your words, it actually feels as if he could say the same as well. Thanks for saying from a man’s perspective about relationships and rejection. I cannot not agree about the pressure. He told me about problems at work and I saw how stressed out and down he is because of it, and suddenly my reaction was to pressure him to take some immediate action. All that he said, it overwhelmed me.
And I’m afraid this beautiful song catches the vibe of the situation.
JusParticipantDear Roberta:
Thank you for your reply. I’m sorry about the story with your son’s manager. I know that sadness after such situations stay in us for long, if not forever.
Thank you for pointing out the aspect that it may be another type of relationship rather than a romantic one.
I’m grateful that I could safely share such personal matters.JusParticipantDear Anita:
I am thinking deeply of your reply. Thank you for breaking down the situation into single pieces and pointing out the aspects of lies. I have just forgotten about lies, to preserve my idealistic view of him and our relationship.
JusParticipantDear n2life,
I wish you fast recovery.
I admire how you go out of your way to help others. I believe it is rare. I noticed what you describe you give to others is “acts of service” (one of so called 5 love languages).
I hypothesize here and of course there is more context that I cannot know, so please treat it as “thinking out loud”.
So one reason could be that others have different love languages. For example such beautiful gesture as making a soup almost never would come to my mind spontaneously, because my default love language would be “words of affirmation”. “How do you make healthy 2-way friendships in your late ish adult life?” I try to find out what they specifically need and if I do, and see they faces shine, it is very rewarding to see.
Another aspect of the situation that comes to my mind, is that you didn’t mention if you were vocal to your friends saying you were ill and needed them? I find important being vocal even in a situation that seems self-explanatory and obvious. Sometimes people are blinded by their own problems and need more explicit message to shaken that off and reach out…
Have a good day,
Jus -
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