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Julie

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Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
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  • January 17, 2019 at 12:34 pm #275215
    Julie
    Participant

    I’m 26 btw.

    November 9, 2018 at 11:05 am #236211
    Julie
    Participant

    Literally going through the same dilemma. I’m on my period and my emotions make me wanna scream but as soon as I’m finished with it, I’m back to normal. It makes us feel crazy. You’re not alone.

    October 15, 2018 at 7:18 am #231095
    Julie
    Participant

    Hi Amanda,

    Your situation sounds a lot similar to mine instead I would be Nate in your situation. I fell in love with my best friend (we’ll call him Adam) that I met a year ago. He was dating his ex at the time of 4 years when I first met him through my ex. Long story short, me and my ex broke up last December and him and his ex broke up shortly after in January of this year. After they had broken up, we started hanging out more and I started developing this random attraction towards Adam. We are extremely compatible and we get along so well. I have never been so honest, comfortable and trust worthy of someone before than I am with him. We started getting intimate with each other in March (I gave him my virginity, I’m 26 btw) and we haven’t stopped being intimate since. He doesn’t wanna be in a relationship with anyone not just me because he needs time to heal from his ex. It’s hard because he is my best friend and he’s playing the field right now, dating other girls but not wanting a commitment with them. Although with me, we are very honest and communicate with one another. He treats me differently from them because at the end of the day, I am his best friend. I can’t let him go, I’m just trying to go with the flow and not expect anything. We have the same group of friends so it’s hard to detach from him without detaching from my other friends. We all do group activities which is why I say that.

    Going back to your situation, I understand where Nate is coming from. Let me ask you this, did Nate know you didn’t see him as more than just a friend? Were your intentions clear? Cause I know you wrote, “We’ve been physically connecting for half of our friendship and I, as I mentioned, saw this only as an extension of how deeply I care about him.” If not, that could perceive you as leading him on even though that probably wasn’t your intentions. And if you truly don’t see a romantic connection with him, do you think you will in the future? Or will you accept him moving onto someone else who is available to him? Me and Adam, have very intellectual conversations when we’re alone not having sex. He has admitted to me that he does see us possibly ending up together in the future. It’s been 7 months of this ongoing roller coaster with him but we both can’t seem to detach from each other. It’s sometimes hard to believe that he wants to be alone because of how he acts around me. The way we cuddle, text, kiss; it’s very romantic-like as if we’re subconsciously already in a relationship.

    Is there something else holding you back from not wanting to pursue a romantic relationship with Nate? Maybe it’s cause of your past from Sam? If so, then I understand and maybe we can both help each other since we both play different roles in our situations. I do believe in the best relationships being formed through friendships and Nate seems like your match specially since you’re hurting over losing his friendship. Maybe take things slow? I do believe you both should have a talk so that he can try to understand where you’re coming from and vice versa.

    Julie

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 2 months ago by Julie. Reason: misspelled grammar
    September 28, 2018 at 6:01 am #227907
    Julie
    Participant

    Hi Airene,

    My best friend has told me he does not want to be in a relationship right now. Him and his ex have been together for 4 years and have broken up for a year now but still keep in contact since then. He’s explained to me how he is enjoying his freedom right now and how he used to be a serial monogamist so being alone right now is what he needs. We have spoken about our feelings towards each other. He has told me there has been times he’s wanted to take me serious and leave his past behind but how it would only hurt me more because he would still be stuck on his ex and not getting the closure he needs. I personally don’t believe him and his ex will last because they’ve had multiple breaks in the past and I believe that if the love is there and real he wouldn’t be putting it on hold and having other love interests. I’m very confused because apart of me feels like he is in denial for what he feels for me.

    September 26, 2018 at 7:30 am #227597
    Julie
    Participant

    Thank you Gigi. That means a lot to me. Especially since you have a sense of understanding since your situation is slightly similar. He went on a date yesterday with his co worker he had spoken to me about. I was hurt because besides his ex being in the picture, I felt like I was the only one getting his attention. It’s clear he is not ready to settle and he told me that this morning. He is enjoying his freedom and I want to enjoy that with him but I am not capable of doing so since my emotions are much more deeper than his. I still feel as though we are meant to be. Maybe I am blindly and crazy in love but this odd small feeling won’t go away making me feel such a way. I’ve never felt like this towards anyone and what I mean by that is feeling like this still isn’t over. Like there’s so much more that is to come from this and that he is the one for me. I’ve always had hope with others but this doesn’t feel like hope. It feels more like intuition but I need to let this situation go regardless and let the Universe do it’s job.

    Yesterday while he was on his date, I went to watch a movie with my downstairs neighbor who likes me. I couldn’t get my best friend off my mind, wondering how his date was going. I feel as though I will never be able to move on with him in my life. Do I lose my best friend or lose myself? We are extremely connected and attached to one another despite our emotions for each other. I have never been so honest, so comfortable, so myself with someone like this ever and have it reciprocated in return. He brings out the best in me and no one has ever done that to me before. I’ve never trusted someone with my life as I do with him. I feel completely stuck right now.

    And I feel as though there’s this little voice within my heart reassuring me of my worth and predicting that if I move on, he will regret it and come back and it won’t go away. I hope I’m not going delusional and this feeling is meant to stay with me for a reason. Do I sound crazy?

    Julie

    September 21, 2018 at 7:05 am #226583
    Julie
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    You have me puzzled on your last sentence. What exactly do you mean?

    September 20, 2018 at 6:43 am #226457
    Julie
    Participant

    I also stick around because of temptation. I suck when it comes to temptation. I always do what I want in the moment.

    September 20, 2018 at 6:30 am #226455
    Julie
    Participant

    Hi Stephanie,

    I stick around because when I’m with him, my intuition speaks to me. I feel like we just click. He just texted me about his situation with his ex and how she recently, oddly, has been texting him a lot. And I feel as though she is only texting him now because she’s scared of losing him. He said how she called him one day while he was with me and he forgot to text her back which was unusual for him. But how she reacted saying to him, “he must like someone else” because she felt like he was “whatever” with her on the phone. I feel like his emotions are very unpredictable and erratic but I’ve noticed that when I’m in love with someone I have a very high tolerance for them. I settle for less because I’m scared to lose him towards her and I want to stick around to prove to him what my love is capable of.

    Last night, I came to terms that I need to accept the present and you’re right. If I move on and he let’s go, he was never mine in the first place. I’m just scared of what the future holds because I feel like my heart is telling me he’s the one and I keep holding on to that voice in my head. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I’ve gone crazy.

    July 26, 2018 at 10:05 am #218847
    Julie
    Participant

    Ankita,

    How old are you? Out of curiosity. Secondly, you should never determine your worth based off how someone else perceives it. “Your perception of me is a reflection of you.” Your ex probably feels worthless which is why he is hurting you. He is toxic for you. Block him if you have to. I know it’s hard turning away from someone you still love but you need to worry about YOU. Put Ankita first. Breakups are the worst. The pain feels inevitable because it is. You cannot escape a heartbreak. You must grow from it. What you are experiencing is grief and with time that grief will blossom into growth. Have faith and trust in the universe. But in order for you to move past that state of mind you are in, you have to force yourself out of it. Step out of your comfort zone. Go out with some friends, go on dating apps. How long ago was this breakup?

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 5 months ago by Julie.
    July 26, 2018 at 9:51 am #218843
    Julie
    Participant

    Hi Prash and Anita,

     

    Thank you for your advice. I placed a same day delivery to her house of Happy Birthday balloons and a box of chocolate. Unfortunately, she didn’t receive it because the florist screwed up on the order. She will be receiving it today instead but we spoke briefly. Not about the situation because it was her birthday yesterday which is understandable. We pretty much swept it under the rug but I am aware that she is still upset and is taking space from me. I know in my heart things will be back to normal its just the waiting game right now. I will still not be attending her birthday weekend because I wouldn’t fit in her car amongst our other friends and they already booked their hotel. But we both understand the circumstances and are okay with it. Her and my other friends are upset I won’t be attending but it is what it is. I guess you can say this is my punishment on missing out on a good time.

    As for my Lexapro, I have noticed a major change in my attitude since yesterday. Being that I’ve been taking my meds now on time as prescribed, I am starting to feel back to normal and not a different person. Anita, I will keep in mind on meditating or doing other hobbies that will help tame my anxiety.

    Thank you again!!

    July 25, 2018 at 9:41 am #218683
    Julie
    Participant

    What do you think I should do? I feel like a bad friend now. She’s already ignoring me and I don’t want to push her.

    July 25, 2018 at 8:57 am #218677
    Julie
    Participant

    So you would end your friendship if your best friend didn’t attend it because she would feel uncomfortable? Wouldn’t that make you feel uncomfortable knowing she is? Despite everything you two have been through, you would end it because of a one time event?

    July 25, 2018 at 8:42 am #218669
    Julie
    Participant

    I understand. It was inconsiderate of me but I felt like no one would care to be honest. I don’t think it’s wrong of me not attending though. I don’t want her worrying about how I feel being around my male best friend. I want her to have a good time. Do you think me and her will ever rekindle from this? I texted her happy birthday today and she ignored me again.

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Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)