thank you anita! i’ve really thought about that topic long enough and tried to ration it, but it just didn’t click with me. i still suppose that maybe it only works for some people and some people only, but i’m still not sure. it’s just not something i want my whole life to depend on anymore because it doesn’t do much but cause anxiety. it do however, still believe in destiny. but that’s just all it is, destiny. either something is yours or it’s not. it’s all about luck. and it’s all about whether you’re special or chosen or whatever. i’m kind of over trying to be special because i probably never was in the first place. there are most likey people with greater power and that’s fine. the end goal in life is just to love each other and all that other attainment means nothing. it’s probably all a sidetrack.

but on another note, how are you anita? are you feeling better from that cold you had?

that’s exactly what i was talking about, that peace of mind. that sounds like it may help and i’ll try it. it’s good that you’re walking anita it’s always good to exercise it’s very beneficial and i’m sure when you feel better that you’ll be walking farther than now.

evanc –

thank you so much for this! i can’t tell you how much the timing means to me at the moment. god does not make mistakes. i’m going to try the lemon method and see if that helps, a lot of my thoughts have been erratic with fear and causing lots of stress, so this method will help a lot. as for worth, it’s hard for me to feel worth of self, but i try hard to be worthy in someone else’s eyes. although there is no control in that as you said, i still have the urge to try and be the best for this person. to be better than many people for one person. i don’t know if it’s stupid or not. i don’t know if it’s a waste of time, but i do feel like an idiot somehow. i don’t know if it’s intuition or because i usually don’t get any response out of all my attempts.

i know that one! i have it taped to my mirror in my room 🙂 the last part is always the hardest part though. to actually differentiate the difference. then i don’t even know if most of us even want to know the difference. we’re probably too afraid, which is definitely understandable, but it still is hard to dissociate the things we truly want and need with other things. do you think that anything in life is possible? and how can we become better versions of ourselves? how can we stop hating the way we are now? besides acceptance. i think i’ve already done that, but there are still things i’d like to change for me. i just feel like i’m stuck in the same ol’ same ol’ and it annoys me a bit.

you’re right anita, being bored is definitely way better than being overly excited about something. i wish it was easier to make friends, but i guess everything happens for a reason.

yeah law of attraction is touchy but who could really know anything about anything. lately with los angeles i’ve been feeling like a lot of my dreams in general are too far fetched. for me only though i guess. i just feel like i’m not supposed to have anything exciting or good. i don’t know. i definitely wanna go back to the kindergarten class though but maybe sometime next month.

you’re very right anita, but i try not to take them so much as tough, i only try to understand and definitely learn or think. i haven’t had much that i thought was different from the usual to talk about, but i really do hope that there is something we will talk about eventually. and if you ever have anything to share i’ll definitely be here to talk to you about it. our conversations are always very thought provoking and interesting.