Dear H,

Thank you for reaching out.   I read “I am reaching the limits of how much longer I can sustain my loneliness” and, being in Australia myself, I urge you to call Lifeline at any time of the day or night.   You are not alone.   People care.

You also write about “being the best at what I do”.      That’s a great and positive step.   You are unique and with time your strengths and values will grow and develop.    With age (I’m old) comes the privilege of hindsight.   I recognise now that many people, including myself, didn’t hit their stride until they were into middle age and older.      Until then, there is a deep satisfaction that comes with living and working congruent with your values.   (Have you ever heard of the Desiderata?)    I commend you on understanding that at 23.

Can I make suggestion about “meaningful relationships”?     It seems to me that everyone has one or two opportunities in life to experience deep love, no matter how attractive they are, no matter how much they go looking for it, or not.      It will come to you.   Meanwhile, while I admire your intellect and the fact that you’ve achieved so much already in your career, now that your university days are over, perhaps you could redirect your love of learning to a new area.

A balance to your work(or a complement to it) could be to commit yourself to a few hours a week to “play”.     Be creative.    Creative activities offer you the opportunity to develop and express your authentic self in intelligent ways.     What is your natural interest or strength?   Music?   Art?   Photography?   What are you attracted to that other people do creatively?     Join groups based on that interest – as simple or sophisticated as you choose.     If you meet people through this interest they are far more likely not to be “dull” and you’ll be far less likely to have to work at being “nice”.

If you develop an awareness of your self and your strengths, and commit yourself to ongoing life long learning (not always of the formal kind), life will bring you wonderful surprises and gifts.    The best people of your life are yet to come into it but they will.    I promise     And they will appreciate you for the unique and authentic person you are.