Hi there…reading through your post reminded me of what im went through my life sometime back…i went through life day in and day out with everything that i was grateful for because i had everything i ever wanted….but still it felt like something was missing…through many days of writing in my journal and meditating i finally knew what i had missed…i had missed myself….i missed being myself…i never really indulged in things that i love for the fear of judgement and also emotional abuse and fear of pain…..my ego took over and i covered my fear…i finally realise i love myself…maybe what u should be doing is getting back to how it all started…get through your emotional issues and go from there….take it from someone who lived in denial….its not really a happy place….so i know how you truly feel….this really worked for me…i hope it works for u too….