Part of his process is learning to “not be negative to people” and you are his friend. Detach with love and move on. This is completely different than giving up, you are giving him space to find out what he wants. 20 years is an incredibly long time to know someone, and you deserve someone who is ready for an actual relationship. I think he may misunderstand what Zen will do for him personally, it is not a spiritual bypass. If you meditate, let yourself feel whatever you are feeling and let it go. Allow space for the person you are meant to be with.