Hi Neo,

Is there any way, you can try to communicate with this woman again? Let her know that you feel bad and that you did not mean to be too emotionally dependent on her, that you are trying to turn your life around, and give her specific examples of how you you are doing that. Tell her that you would like a friendship with her again..keep it light. Nothing too serious or heavy and see how she responds. She may decide to give things another chance. But in the future, try to only depend on yourself for your happiness instead of her. It is too much pressure for anyone to live up to.

Hi Alex,

I too, am very worried and concerned about you and your well being. You are welcome to post any time If that helps, but I do hope in the meantime, you will contact crisis hotline, they are all trained volunteers who want to help and your call will be anonymous. Please post back to let us know how you are doing.

Hi Haru,

I can relate to your post and feelings. I too have met men online via social media or online chat forums, and they too have been from another country. The last one being from the Middle East. He friended me, and as time went on, I started to develop feelings. Then my feelings turned very romantic. I wanted to meet him. He lied to me saying he wanted to move to United States and “build a life with me”. Little did I know he was lying because by this time, we were videochatting, he was the first person I saw in the morning, the last person I saw at night. My heart skipped a beat when he messengered me. I ended up falling head over heals for him. I foolishly believed his lies. He had no romantic interest in me, he was actually Catphishing me, so he could get to the United States. We were from two very different cultures and had different ways of looking at things..and would start getting in silly and petty disagreements and bickering. Then he did not want me speaking to any other men from the middle east such as Pakistan, Iran or he said if he found out, he would break up with me. Then after about two months, he never asked me about my life, my job, how I was doing, how my day went, etc. He was very distant and aloof.

I would send him romantic pictures and his response? A fake “muah baby, hope you had a romantic evening” and sent me back a picture of a couple pecking each other on the cheek. I got mad, and didn’t message him for two days. Nothing back from him. I finally had enough, and asked him to leave me. All he said is “what is it you want” when I told him, he never responded. I was heartbroken, and cried over him for months. I swore to myself never to meet another man online or long distance again, it’s too complicated, does not work out. My advice, is to meet someone local. x

Hi Crawford,

I see that you wrote a question on another thread, and hope you get some great advice. Lots of awesome, helpful people on here. I really do hope you follow your passion of art. Remember that you are living your life for you, and not your friends. They are busy doing their own thing, and need to respect what you want to do. If they can’t respect your boundaries, maybe separate yourself for awhile, put some distance so you Can do you own thing. I do hope you will pursue your art. Keep posting and follow your dreams.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by Eliana.

Hi Felix,

I was just checking in on you, to see how you are doing, and if you are feeling better. I hope you have a Happy New Year.

Hi Saya,

You mentioned in your post, that your journey on the train ride made you very anxious. Then a few months later, you went into a deep depression, then when you went to visit your friends, although you “loved” kissing and being with your boyfriend, you felt disconnected from your friends, from everything, you felt anxious. That this had been going on for some time. I don’t think this has anything to do with your boyfriend, but that you may be clinically depressed and have anxiety and stress disorder. This is not a character weakness. It is because our brains are not making enough Serotonin and Dopamine, and sometimes it can get worse from October from March, when the days get shorter, this is a part of depression called “SAD” or Seasonal Affective Disorder.

You then stated you tried meds, but did not give them much of a chance because of the lousy way they made you feel. There are different classes of antidepressants. There are SSRI’S..the newest ones, like Zoloft, Paxil, Lexaoro, Prozac is also an SSRI, while these newer meds may work for some, they don’t work for others. I tried them all, and they filled my emotions, spaced me out, and made me feel I was going through the motions. Another class are the SNRI’s, such as Cymbalta..another newer antidepressant. I tried that one too, and it out me in the hospital with bad side effects. They now do “cheek swabs” at Psychiatrist offices and mental Health clinics, this is very new and exciting because they match your DNA, to the best antidepressant for you, without all the trial and error. I had to go through 12 different medications until finding something that worked for me. I am so glad I did not give up. I have my life back. I am on the older antidepressants, Wellbutrin and Remeron. I also take Benzodiazepine for panic and anxiety attacks. I would not give up on meds. Best to try to find a good Psychiatrist or therapist who will find the right med for you. Have a Happy New Year.

Hi Chipmunk,

It’s not their life, it’s yours. If you want to move, I think you should do so. Nobody knows what is behind others people’s motives, when they tell you not too. They may be a little envious, because deep down, they want to move to and can’t. I moved from Florida to Seattle by myself. Not knowing anyone, no family, no friends. It was scary. I did it for for different reasons than you. Just got tired of no change of seasons, the unrelenting hear and humidity, lack of technical jobs, tourists, etc. One of best decisions I ever made. I made new friend rapidly, and found a roommate quickly, no problem finding a job out there. Then in 1997, has the worst break-up of my life there, and decided to move to Cincinnati, OH, to be closer to my Dad. He has now passed. I don’t like the Midwest too much either. It’s very cold. So, follow your heart and don’t listen to the “naysayers”. Happy New Year.