Just a little addition, maybe a bit limited, but; how about a little addition to your perception – in that maybe 1 day it will cotton onto their true self. I know from personal experience what it’s like to not listen to people. Or to also listen but not connect. But how sometimes, eventually, i have finally had the light bulb which has been fired up over a statement that was put forward by somebody, or somebody elses wisdom. Just that some people are slower than others. We don’t know what is going to happen later down the line. So letting frustration pour over a future which you possibly won’t find out about doesn’t help you in the present. Maybe it will work in their favor, maybe it won’t. Nobody knows. However having faith and hoping that with you putting in your best efforts will have a positive effect 1 way or another can alleviate ourselves in a way. Some people can be helped by others, some can’t. Some learn through trial and error. Some people learn from others, while some don’t. It’s not simple at the end of the day. Each and every individual mind is different in multiple ways for multiple reasons. But it doesn’t mean that you should stop or give up in what it is that you’re doing.

But emotions are a bit tricky and can get in the way at times. We never sop learning…

my 2 long term relationships started like that. Although they kind of started just for both of us actually going for that aspect of the bedroom antics. But they developed. While the first 1 kind didn’t develop enough making the bedroom the only aspect of the relationship. While the 2nd 1 developed into soo much more than i ever dreamed of. However for a long time the bedroom was the only way we connected. But we now connect mentally. The physical kind of helped a fair bit.

Basically dependent on how developed you both are in yourselves, if there is no further meaning to what you have then chances are it might not last anyway. And i don’t know everything about the pair of you. But then again i guess the same can be said for both of you about each other. But may be it fizzled quickly or now there is no connection. But until you sit down together and talk a bit more extensively sharing more of yourselves with each other, and i don’t mean physically. Sometimes the mental sharing increases the physical spark/desire. Maybe its because you guys don’t spend a huge amount of time together and how he spends a fair bt of time involved with his work that maybe he hasn’t truly connected with himself either? It’s kind fo guess work when you don’t know everything about the individual in question.

I hope this helps in some form

Do you have any aspirations at all? Is there anything you want to spend your time doing other than a means to an end? Do you have hobbies and interests that occupy your spare time?

Personally i’m in a similar boat. I’m in a not badly paid job. But the actual work doesn’t use much of what i have available to be used. I used to like the job because i can let my mind wander and focus on other parts of my life. But at the moment i’m seeking more than just that. I just want to be able to use my mind a bit more involved with my job. And like you i don’t have a degree. Even though i used to run my own business and have vast experience and knowledge, in order to get a similar job i need a degree to back up the experience. Plus the whole aspect of how degrees supposedly represent a person.

In terms of not wanting the debt, if you can actually see what is available in more depth. What job you want to do. What options are available and what is required to get said job. Here is my basic example of 1 of my possibilities; For me i think i would like to do psychology but the open university degree is around 17k and would take about 6 years to fulfill. And once qualified the basic psychology jobs start at around average wage of 25k going up to 30+. But i really like the idea of using my mind more than i’ve done so far. Psychology just interests me more because of how complex our minds actually are. And if i could use my mind more productively and help other people then i’d feel like i had more meaning to my existence in this modern world. Plus int he last few years with the time i have spent with psychologist i am just more drawn to what it is they actually do for a living. Makes it more than just a job.

Maybe the above will help you think a bit more about what it is you could or want to actually be doing

Awww… Anita you’re a glimmer at the end of the tunnel for soo many people here. So well done for holding onto your heart and using it in a positive way that helps other people on their journey.

I hope you manage to find the close intimate relationship you’re searching for. I too can relate to you. My mum hated me for being born and held onto the resentment for me most of my life. But I let go of it, thanks to the havening technique and countless positive affirmations. Even though she hated me being born after being told she wouldn’t have anymore children after my 2nd sister, she didn’t abort me. But it has caused me to seek and need the intimate nurturing I never had as a child. So I relate to the intimate bonding needed when it comes to letting out our emotions. But it also helps if we can understand our emotions and feelings. And after having them caged for soo long it does take time.

And true and meaningful love causes individuals to grow, develop, and chnage together on this journey. So I hope your husband connects with you the way you need. But even if he doesn’t, it may take time either way, but you will find it

Look at the positives in your life. Focus on those. It’s not about blocking the negatives out as such, they’re not going to go away. They’re still there, sometimes they either subdue, increase or just disappear altogether. Uncertainty is just part of life. Hence why being present is essential. Like some of the other replies; do new things, do enjoyable things together. Having a partner you love and who loves you, together you can drive each other to be more present in the moment and appreciate what you have together, and continue to build on it. You’re still alive, everybody you know and love are still with you, and you’re with them. Make the most out of the time you have.

Clear your mind of the emotions and be present with the fact you’re alive and think of the positives in your life.

There are no easy words or actions other people can do to help you as much as you and your mind can enable you to do yourself. But people still care, we care, else why else would we try and express ourselves to you, spiritual hugs and heart felt sincere smile that also radiate from my eyes – be present in the moment

Hi Cee, just wondered if there has been any progress made at all? Have you connected at all? Is he sorting himself out?

I think the fact he was honest with you is pretty decent. Not many men are in touch with their feelings and thoughts so that’s certainly a positive. And being able to be ho nest with you. And maybe the “casual” side is also about intimacy. Regardless of being heartbroken we all still ant a connection with another person. But it does take a considerable amount of time to move forward past the love for another. Something i have a fair bit of experience in. I was in a relationship that stemmed on deep meaningful love, which ended when something tragic happened and neither of us were strong enough to support each other. We had a year apart, reconnected and then spent the best 1.5 years together. But as per usual, restrictions and barriers stemming from both of our pasts has caused it to possibly finish altogether. Even in that year when were apart i only really compared other women to her. I still do. When you truly connect with another and see sides of them that nobody else has seen then it makes it even more difficult. I don’t know if this is similar to what this guy is feeling/dealing with, maybe it relates. It takes a great deal of time to truly get to know everything there is to know about a person. And even then there are situations and scenarios which do cause us to change, develop. And sometimes more than we become aware of in time to do the appropriate action before something restricts us. And then there are times when we have to overcome restrictions and barriers in order to move onto the next stage/path.

Anyway if you feel like sharing…

Well i’m certainly not in my dream lifestyle. But if it wasn’t for being aware of your thoughts relating to what you want your lifestyle to consist of then how would we know how to make it happen? As long as it is what you actually want. Some people get stuck and feel they are never going to get their dream a reality. Sometimes its laziness. Sometimes it is simply because it is not want they truly want, it is just a dream. Realizing what we really really want is sometimes very difficult. I used to think i wanted a family. Wanted to create a family in the opposite way to i was created. But this changed into wanting to explore and experience more in this world and with regards to developing more as an individual, and working out what it is that i want along the way. Some people know what they want from a young age. Some of us don’t cotton on till later in our years. Experience helps a great deal. Sometimes we dream of a certain type of lifestyle and when we make it happen it’s far from how we pictured it. Sometimes what we perceive as far from a dream is actually what we want when we experience it first hand.

So i guess it’s also related to experience. What we learn along the way encourages and develops our perspective relating to what it is that we actually want in this world. Many options, but what are the most important options available that you want??