Hi Katie. Reading your post broke my heart.  Can I ask how old you are? I only ask because I know how difficult it is growing up as a female, with all the pressures and standards of beauty shoved down our throats from a very young age. I only really started to become more confident and comfortable in my own skin in my 30’s. In our teens and 20’s, I do feel that we are still fixated a little more on outer appearances and material things. Everyone has insecurities about themselves, regardless of what they look like, trust me.  I don’t want to throw corny quotes out at you, but I truly do believe “Comparison is the thief of joy”.  Especially in this day in age, with social media, it’s SOOO easy to compare yourself to other people. We constantly see beautiful images of models, and we are being sold beauty products and things to help “mask” our so-called “flaws”.

Your perception of yourself is what others will perceive you as, so if you think of yourself as depressed, sad, boring, and uninteresting, then that is what others will see you as. You are giving that energy and vibe out to others. I know it’s easier said than done, but try to think of yourself as fun, unique, having so much to offer others, and change the vibration of your energy towards others, and they will take notice of that.

For me, I know one of the most difficult things is loving myself without needing validation from other people. It’s not easy. We all want to be told we are beautiful, fun, and amazing. It definitely helps with our confidence and how we see ourselves. Constantly being told we are beautiful is a huge boost to our ego, and it’s very powerful.  But honestly, no one else’s opinion of you really matters.

Everyone has something to offer. No one is the same, and everyone is beautiful in some way, and that’s the best part about being human.  You have different personality traits than your friend. You have different interests, feelings, likes, and dislikes.  You are YOU, and that’s all that matters.  Try not to dwell on the past and the photos of your family members, and everything they were told. Just focus on what YOU bring into people’s lives. Focus on YOUR passions, YOUR boyfriend, YOUR goals.

Like I said, I know it’s easier said than done.  If I knew then what I know now, I would have saved myself a lot of self-hate talk, insecurities, and heartbreak.  As you get older, you will understand what really matters and what is really important.