@anita
Hi, thank you for your thought. It’s hard for me to trace this feeling back to a particular incident. However, I’ve always felt like they treated me like I’m too fragile and need to be protected. Yes, I was very sensitive as a kid, I had a hard time making friends and opening up to other people so I understand why they might have felt like I needed protection. I think partly because I grew up in a rich family and I didn’t have the skills to mingle with people who were poorer than me. I look at parents of other kids and they treat each other so..normal and casual, where as to my family, I’m this precious little baby that needed coddling. I was ok with getting things and being pampered but deep down, I always knew that I didn’t have the skills to survive without them. Everytime I’m in a social situation, I tense up and don’t know how to act and I just want to crawl back home and I hate that I feel that way.
I guess there isn’t really any use in trying to change them or the situation. I just want to know how I can better manage my emotions. I wish that I can just feel normal towards my family like how I would feel towards people that I meet everyday. How can I keep this disgust feeling down so I can function around them without feeling like I want to lash out?