I honestly didn’t think it classified as a conversation. I never ever lied to this girl about anything. At times, I was perhaps too honest. I wanted to be the opposite of what she told me the other guys were. And I would never put the guy who upset her over her like she apparently thinks.

If she did come back I would of course question and say we have to take things slow. That was the plan originally. When we broke up She told me that one minute, she’d want to slow things down and the next she’d want to speed things up. But she knew that I wanted more so she did it for me. When actually I always told her we can go as slow as was needed. She was the one who suggested we become official and book vacations together. I wanted a relationship, but I wanted a relationship with her. I wanted to do the right thing for her from the very beginning. I wanted to show her that no one cares for her like I did. And I know I treated her better than anyone ever has in her life.

I know in the first two weeks of the breakup, I made the mistake of reaching out too much. Because I was obviously scared to lose her and I wanted to convince her that this isn’t what she was thinking. Based on what I’ve said, does anyone think it’s something that can’t be recovered from?

not considering declining an invite the same thing as talking wasn’t small? i mean i get there’s an element of trust involved but i don’t think its anything that can’t be worked out. i make mistakes but i am a trustworthy person.

I try to be that way. Like I said, I genuinely care/cared about her. Idk what to feel. It’s been two months and I honestly thought we would have resolved things by now. Again, I’ve been doing things to try to better myself. It just hurts that something so small turned into all this. It’s really my first heart break I guess.

By the way, I have posed my question on other advice boards and you folks are way nicer and more understanding. Just wanted to say that.

Here’s what the friend did:

we were out at a bar. it was her idea to invite my friends because she had invited hers.

She and I were dancing. My friend, who by the way is no longer my friend, ended up meeting up with a girl he had been dating.

My girl asked them to come out and dance with us. My “friend” gave her the finger. My back was turned to him so I didn’t see it.

But when I found out, I told him to apologize or leave. He chose to leave.

He probably thought he was being funny. But he shouldn’t have done that to someone he just met.

Also, she says she saw my eyes wonder over to her phone a few times while she was texting when we were in the car.

She had told me that an ex boyfriend of hers occasionally texted her. I wasn’t cool with that but I never said “you can’t talk to him.” I’m just not like that. But I never picked up her phone and looked through the messages.

Is that unreasonable?

• This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by Joe.
• This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by Joe.

I did cut contact with him. She was the important one, not him. I didn’t talk to him for two months until he sent the invite and haven’t talked to him since. That was in July, its now the end of September

There are two reasons I responded “maybe.”

1) because that’s how everyone in our friend group responds to things. its stupid, i know. but it means “no.”

2) because i didn’t want to lose touch with my other friends. who, by the way, all agreed with me and said he should apologize.

but even though i said “maybe” i did not go. nor did i have any intention of going because i went out with her and as i said, she was who i wanted to be with.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by Joe.