Well I keep this thoughts to myself, because I wouldn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. But I know that I can’t spend my life feeling bad for people. Actually my resolve, is that every person can find happiness within themselves and become satisfied for what they have but they have a path to take or work to do (some more than others), wherever they are in life.

I also still feel social anxiety. I have noticed it’s been slowly becoming less of a struggle in my daily life and feel more confident. I do still feel anxiety or uneasiness sometimes around friends or strangers and then think that they are feeling the same way.

In general I feel much better than the last few months, more confident in myself, physically and socially, and am more satisfied with normal (sometimes boring) life. But since I am still writing in this forum, I still feel some unease around people, just casual hangouts and conversations and most importantly making new friends and pursuing new relationships.

I will see a psychiatrist next week recommended by my therapists ( she tells me that I really do not have much to worry about and that is probably a physical reason/imbalance that is probably causing this unhappiness and anxiety)

And because I want to stop being a gigantic dick because no one is perfect

Thank you Anita, I will think about all of those things

Life is a weird experience

Wow first of all I, I want to say that Im grateful that you guys are helping me with my problems

And to respond to the question about my home country, which was France, I lived their with my step-dad and my mom too, my father died when I was young and my parents were already separated. So I consider my step-dad like my dad. I know he cares about me a lot, and I used to always have fun with him. But lately I have not been able to have the same feeling, its weird because I know he is super nice and smart, but I feel like we dont really have a connection. I don’t really like hanging out with him, I get annoyed by him sometimes just by the way he acts or tries to be funny but I dont say anything because hes just trying to be friendly.

I wish that this feeling of irratation would go away and I could appreciate him a little more.

Sounds good,

So my relationship with my parents is okay, I dont feel that close to my stepdad (who is like my dad) and I’m kinda disconnected from the rest of my family because I left my home country about 6 years ago. So when I see them we’re not as close as before.
Ive had some rough moments during my high school year where Ive been caught smoking and doing other things which affected my relationship with my parents. I was angry at that time but still had a pretty good relationship with them. Now I often feel depressed and don’t really feel like hanging out with my family, like when they want to go the beach or to a barbecue. I mostly see them during dinner, the rest of time Im either with friends or in my room. I have a little brother and a little sister who are 7 and 11. I love and care about them a lot but don’t really like the childish atmosphere of the house most of the time and Im often annoyed by the stuff my brother says or even the way my dad tries to act cool. My mom is very loving and caring and shes always asking me how I feel. She wants to help me and is looking for therapy.
As for the rest of the people I see, like my parent’s friends, who for some I traveled with and Ive known them for a long time, I feel like I dont have a close relationship with them even though I should. I don’t really like talking to adults because I often feel uncomfortable and almost never ask them about themselves.

Hey Anita,

Im in my senior year of high school and going to a college next year.

I don’t really feel like I’m putting on an act, but I just feel like I don’t know how I behave, like I’m always in my head and thinking about saying a joke or just something to say and being aware of the presence of others. And I’m not always feeling shy, actually I can be quiet outgoing in certain situations but even then I am very aware of people liking me or laughing. Like Ill think: “oh they think Im funny”, so it feels good but not for a long time and when I dont say anything I feel like people don’t notice me. Its weird, but I think Im a little bit exaggerating comparing  to what others perceive, but it still feels uncomfortable and not right, like I was not being myself.

I should also say that I smoke pretty often with my friends. Usually I would love to smoke it would make things more fun and I would crack a lot of jokes with people. It would help me come out of my head and I would just have a good time. But slowly and slowly I started feeling insecure while high and it reflected in my perception of myself. I think I also became super aware when high and just getting lost in my head and having a bunch of negative thoughts. So now whenever I smoke I feel uncomfortable with people. Even when im sober I feel like i dont really know how hang out with someone one on one. I feel like this made me kinda scared of most social interactions and certainly have a weird feeling about them. I don’t really get stressed when sober but I feel kinda hollow and missing personality. I think I still come off as normal to people but its sure is a struggle inside.