Your mind and your body are used to certain responses — specifically, those that occurred during your long period of depression. Even though the depression has lifted, other emotions and beliefs that you felt and thought during that decade will linger. Also, I have read that when depression is gone some people feel empty because the depression became a part of them and now it is gone.

You are doing the right thing by making a plan and exploring connections. Don’t forget to plan little (healthy) things that give you pleasure. Not happiness, but pleasure — like reading a good book, having a cup of coffee in front of a roaring fire, taking a hot bath. And try to imagine your soul as being open when you are out in public. Totally open to new experiences and new people. One day you will wake up and realize that you feel GOOD deep down. And although you will fear that the feeling is fleeting, it will continue. This feeling is simply your sense of well-being.

Good luck on your adventures. BTW, I first experienced depression in my late teens, went on meds in my late 20s, and went off meds three times unsuccessfully. About a year ago, due to unemployment and lack of insurance, I weaned myself off of meds at the age of 49. After getting a great job, I started in therapy again and over the summer I thought that I would have to go back on meds. But I worked through some issues and have felt GREAT for three months, med-free. Really, I feel like the person I was as a child and young teen. It feels nothing short of miraculous, but I know that it took hard work on my part to stop overanalyzing and to get rid of bad habits. Take one day at a time, and SMILE. Let me know how you are doing!!