Thanks Anita for all your help I really appreciate it! I think this has given me a lot more perspective and made me able to view my reality a lot clearer.

Jess

To Jay

Yes that makes sense. I think that’s a good idea, I have cooked a few meals recently, she was very controlling about it but she has started to ease of a little. I think that maybe her seeing me putting more effort into learning how to cook would allow her to relax more when I’m in the kitchen rather then trying to control the situation.

My mum would cope okay with me leaving but she would defiantly worry about me being safe and being lonely, however when my brother moved out but was still living in the same country as us, she would often drop meals of to him as she was worried, what he was eating. Also, my parents are still very controlling with things such as ambulance insurance or car insurance extra. I understand that they know how it operates but I think it’s something I should be in control of.

Jess

Thank you everyone for their help I really appreciate it! It has definitely enlightened me some more which is what I needed. I have provided more information so hopefully this will help give you all more insight.

Friends question:
I have a group of girlfriends from school I care about deeply and still enjoy catching up with but I don’t spend as much time with them as they are still busy studying and I find that we don’t care about the same stuff as a result of it.

I have two close girlfriends I spend most my time with. Both are completely different types of people, both of them didn’t help me when I brought this up. They just said that I am becoming more independent and it will be easier when I move out of home.

Family situation:
In regards to how my parents are looking after me too much. For example if they decided to go on a holiday for a week. My mum would prepare meals for me to have everyday and would call me everynight to check in that everything is okay. They would also feel bad about leaving me and my mum would worry about me being alone. Even though I have been totally fine in the past.

A bit of my family background and me as a child will definitely give more insight too. My mum was an only child growing up and doesn’t work anymore. My dad is a school teacher and I am his only child. I find that they are both quiet controlling and always always like to be around people. My half brother is seven years older then me, we grew up in the same house but he lives overseas now. I only at 19 got two cousins around my age through marriage. So I was the youngest in my family growing up.

Me as a child:
When I was younger I was the shortest in the class so I always got a lot of attention for being cute. I also had to repeat prep because I wasn’t mature enough.

Work:
Currently for work I teach a kids dance class and run a school library after hours. I also am currently looking for work as a clinical Pilates instructor.

This mindset I am in doesn’t effect me too deeply but I worry that this is preventing my growth and will prevent me from having a healthy relationship. I do enjoy doing my own thing but I definitely fall into relaying on someone else to look after me.