“I have just got to the point now where I have given up on things changing”….
Could that be the answer for your struggling? Not to give up but to give yourself a break? A break from overthinking, -past and future- and labeling (“my life has been crap for 8 years long”). This kind of living is indeed very hard for yourself!
How I see it is that life can pretty much do without our interference and controlling. To just go with the flow and give life the space to unfold itsself. We do not need to control the sunset or our hartbeat. Try to see the love in your child’s eye. Concentrate on your breath… Just let things be…Thank you and namaste.