Dear Desmond,
You sounded exactly like my ex, he was my first real serious relationship. I loved him and even to this day, I still care for him, even if we no longer in contact.

Long story short, he was also abusive mentally, spiritually and at time he even got seemly physical that I thought he was going to hit me.
We were together for five months, but after the broke-off, we been on and off(mostly me on and he was just stringing me along, to quote him, he said “it’s easy”)for another five months. I wasted almost a whole year on him, and to this day, from time to time, the damage he brought still affect me deeply.
At the end, he did something really terrible that I ended up not having contact with my six-year long best friend because of him.

He touched her, while three of us was out together for the first time.
And unfortunately she showed it off later on to me as well.

I can’t manage to tell and specify exactly how much anger and pain I felt after being told by a “best” friend that my ex wants to fuck her as well.(he told me in person as well, came to think of it.)
But I can tell you, that experience is really traumatized, and even to this day, my anger to both of them is still there.

I hate her and him, but at the same time they used to be the two of the most important people I care besides my family.

I am glad you realized how much you did to your current gf(hopefully you let her go already), but recognizing the problem sometimes is not enough, you have to, as the previous commentor said, learn to be peace with your own anxiety, depression and discomfort. I feel sorry for your girl. She didnt see her worth and you took advantage of her because the previous self-work you failed to do to yourself. But as I am saying this to you at the same time, I feel sorry for myself to ever putting so much effort and energy on someone who don’t deserve my attention and forgiveness at the first place. You are now here for criticism, but to me mostly the comfort from there’s hope toward you. there is no hope unless you are willing to change it under your own free will, no amount of advice or cases that you can learn from unless you start to get yourself together and learn from the mistakes.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Jenny chiu.