fbpx
Menu

Jennifer Ann

Forum Replies Created

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #194817
    Jennifer Ann
    Participant

    Hi Neha. Love how you reached out for some help on this.

    I wanted to share one big thing I have learned on my own journey about relationship dynamics. It’s ego vs soul. There are many of us who don’t realize when we are engaging that we are either engaging ego to ego, soul to soul or ego to soul.

    Your Mom’s statements from the way you describe have come from her wounded ego self. She, like most, are unconscious to this occurring.

    You’re taking her actions or lack of actions or words too, personal is common because that is your ego-self responding.

    This happens until you begin loving yourself deeper without the need for external attachment and validation of it coming from others or things.

    Please note I am not trying to diminish your Mom’s behavior. But the more you see that it’s lacking what you need to more signs you will find for this to occur. Because she is making love conditional from some of the statements you said. But you can’t control her and her thoughts or emotions.

    You can, however, control yours. When I learned to see that I’m engaging with someone’s ego I stopped taking things personally that others say, do or don’t do.

    I am curious one piece of clarification – Does she really say and act on “how she owns all the money I (you) earn and save” – meaning about your money and takes it from you? Or is she charging you rent and such because your an adult now?

    #194691
    Jennifer Ann
    Participant

    Derek, I really love some of the advise that both Anita and Inky have given you.

    There is a qoute I want to share with you that changed they way I am in relationships for the better.

    “Your job is not to seek for love, but to look at all the barriers within yourself you have built against it.” ~Rumi

    On this life journey we all experience 3 top core beliefs areas that we are to release from. Love & Money are the most common two.

    You are on track in your relaitonship. This is what your relationship is designed to do for you. Release the Love Beliefs (barriers) you have built up.

    Your ego will use those beliefs to keep you safe because it’s your current level of safe you have created for yourself. Just like you stepped up in your acidemics for growth. It’s now time to shift in your soul-growth work to your emotional side for awhile.

    You are not the only who struggles with perfectionism. Yes, I too am a proud #RecoveringPerfectionist.

    Seeking high levels perfectionism is all ego, because perfectionism is a false illusion.

    Your partner is right we are human allow yourself to be human in more little steps like you did in posting this without reviewing it.

    Next, get control of allowing your ego to focus on your judgmental thoughts on your partner. If you allow this to happen it will end the relationship. I promise. Or you’ll both be silently miserable.

    I’ve had clients come to me with this “dirty partner/spouse laundry list” all your ego is attempting to do is keep you in your current love comfort zone. It’s your choice to grow though this and not let it rule.

    Some Love beliefs I’ve personally released are – perfectionism, doing-doing-doing to being & doing life, attatchment, and owning my soul truths and value w/o enternal validation from people or things.

    Your partner is your BEST mirror for you on where to look at healing these love beliefs and where to grow forward. You are right on track in this relationship.

    One last thing, a lot of people don’t know their personal values. Cleary you value education highly and probally one of your top values. You partner my not in the same way you do. We all usually live out 3 to 5 at most of our core personal values. Your relationship will have it’s own values too.

    My partner and I have one common of our core personal values – FREEDOM. However, this is not the case in all relationships. You have to decide if that is a deal breaker or a way to honor your individuality instead.

    Hope this is helpful to you and your love journey.
    Jen

     

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by Jennifer Ann.
    #194677
    Jennifer Ann
    Participant

    Sarah I love your self-awareness you are alllowing yourself to have. This is allways the first step and often the most overlooked. So be glad you gave yourself this first step.

    I can relate to internalizing what other’s externaly have done to us. I could give you a list of about a dozen things I have relaeased from controlling ego. Yes ego. I’ll explain in a sec :).

    We each have an ego and a soul. Our ego uses our current safety zone, regardless if it’s a healthy one or not, as a safety set point. I’ve learned through L.O.V.E. Journaling to get these none serving ego belifes out of my subconscious so it can no longer use them against me.

    In your case your ego has taken on the “cocky” tone your dad used and you have the inner war showing it self to you because you ready to release it.

    I love your other deeper awarness that you know it’s about your worth/value of yourself and loving yourself.

    Your other factor here I see is your loss of personal power from these child wounds and it’s common. You are not alone in this. 🙂

    I love helping women to get to their #SoulTruths and ditch those none serving (wounded) ego beliefs so you #RockYourIndependence emotionally, spiritually and financail. I don’t want to overwhelm you with more if this is not recognating for you. If it, please ask more questions and I’ll be glad to keep on going. It’s my jam so I could talk about this endlessly.

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)