Somehow I followed every bit of that!!! I guess I do the same thing. LOL But looking at your thinking from this perspective is eye opening! I think we just have to learn to live in the moment whether we think it’s productive or not. And accept what ever it is we are doing as the best path.

Hi Steve and Tir!! You both gave me great advice! I guess the operative word, Steve, is that he “was” interested and now appears to be playing hard to get. haha Do guys do that?? I’m not one to chase and I have trouble being that direct in my love interests. So I guess I’ll have to wait it out. We are still friends but don’t see each other often as we are in different cities. (We both travel a lot) I want a relationship like Tir has. I want a relationship to come easy and stay easy.

Is it fair to say that you kind of did what the woman you didn’t want did to you? What if the woman you did want showed the same interest? Do you think you would have still had the same level of interest? I guess what I’m trying to get at is if it’s really a case of wanting what you can’t have or just that feelings did not match up with the other person. Have you considered the fact that she may be playing the game of love and knows that in order to get your attention, she has too pull away and let you “chase”?

A man in love is a beautiful thing and gives me hope that one day I will have someone feel that way about me. Maybe she will fall in love with you too. Hang in there! Sometimes persistence is the key.

Count your blessings that he ended now and not later when you were in deeper. Like you said, maybe he doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions for you especially if the relationship was intense and moving too fast. Or maybe he has feelings for someone else and was using you for sex. In either case, do you really want a guy like that? I’m sorry for your pain.

I can see both sides. I see that it is not fair to you that he is leaving the burden of everything home family related. He is not being as reponsible as you. BUT, this is temporary right? Once he finishes, he can begin to take over the reponsibility I would imagine. Has he said anything like that to you? Getting a PhD is not easy and he should be encouraged and not burdened on that path. It demands respect and patience. If you knew he wanted to get a PhD, why wouldn’t you realize it was a sarafice for a given time? And adding a baby to the mix is poorly timed and irresponsible on both of your parts. Also, it seems you may have post-partum depression. See a doctor asap! Your husband cannot help you with that!

THe best way is to vow to never drink again as you are not responsible enough to handle it. If you can do that, then there is no need to tell her what you did. But if you can’t avoid alcohol, then it is best you tell her. She has a right know who you really are. And just like Inky said, it’s more concerning that you cut yourself than kissing someone. I realize you feel guilt but that is not a good way to deal with problems.