Hi Anita!

I’ve been seeing your name very often and I got curious, and it led me to this thread. I’ve enjoyed reading your responses to some members here. Very insightful and tactful. Hope to gain some insights from you too.

I found tiny buddha via Instagram and started following on FB and here. I’m in a place in my life where I’m figuring out spirituality,  sharpening my intuitive abilities, and trying to either maintain, grow or escape the corporate life. It’s undecided. I’m figuring it out. Somehow spirituality calls rather often, so I’m done resisting for now. Let’s just see where it takes me and how much I can learn. It’s been an interesting journey so far.

Looking forward to getting further acquainted with you!

Hey Peter,

Thank you again! I will indeed get that book by Eric Weiner. I was looking it up on book depository and I felt I’ve seen this book cover a number of times but never picked it up. And it definitely does sound like something I’d fully enjoy, you have good intuition! I somehow enjoy self-deprecating humor. I feel they’re real enough to say those things about themselves, acknowledge them and still enjoy every bit of themselves.

Well my boyfriend is the one that caused the sudden annoying awakening. It all happened after I met him. I’ve been surrounded by men who played video games or were in a band (not that any of these are bad) but then I meet this human who meditates, talks about the importance of meditation and self-awareness and I’m suddenly in awe and my whole perspective changed and that sometimes feels like it was a rude interruption into my life, and other times feels calming. For the most parts, it feels annoying at the moment.

I guess I just get tired of not fully understanding some of the things they’re talking about. Mostly because I have a tough time tuning in to the “silence”. It’s a process I guess. A process of learning to trust yourself, your gut feelings, your intuitions, and just letting go. I also feel like it gets too serious sometimes. Talk about the universe, respecting your life’s purpose. honoring yourself and your feelings. When all of these things should come naturally and at most times we resist and we fight it for reasons we’re yet to comprehend. While they call it resisting, I’d call it shaping my own outcome. It’s a lil battle in my mind. Eventually, those thoughts will come to an understanding. For now, I guess I’m still learning to be patient with myself.

“Once you ask a question you cannot unasked it. Ignorance is bliss but you can’t go back. Frankly life is easier when we identify with our ego and suffer. Righteous anger and taking everything personal can really get the juices flowing. Sure, in the end its exhausting and unhealthy but it can feel so good in the moment. You awakened to the realization that you are not your ego and can’t go back. It’s a loss, even if it leads to becoming more authentic, every loss needs to properly mourned.”     

That paragraph right there is amazing. So many questions I wished never crossed my mind and was never uttered. Choosing my battles wisely was my ammo, but you realize that the battles you choose to indulge yourself in, is truly the battle you’re choosing to have with yourself and to let go. Shedding the ego, one moment at a time. If that makes any sense?

Thanks again. Also thanks to Phil for raising the questions. I think as long as we’re asking the questions, we’re in the right track already.

Dear MissUnderstood,

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I don’t believe anyone should feel that kind of pain. But I do now believe that uneventful events like this happen to us as lessons and perhaps opportunities. How we treat others and what we do with their trust reflects deeply on our relationship with ourselves. One way you can help each other through this is to encourage each other to work on yourselves more (self-love), and only then you’ll be able to connect together, at the level you want and need.

There may be some issues he needs to look into for cheating on himself when he decided to put your relationship on the line. Why did he do something knowing that it would affect something so precious to him? It was a conscious decision. Why did he feel the need to hurt himself that way? The emotions that he is/was feeling needs to recognized, expressed and released. We are the mirror of our actions. There are many triggers that may have set him off to act the way he did, and zooming in on those triggers will help him understand why he hurt himself that way. It will help him heal. Zooming in on why he makes you feel so insecure will help you understand yourself better. When we truly learn to love ourselves so deeply, no one will ever be able to dim the light nor make us feel less about who we are.

You should also know, you are enough. In every form and way, you are truly amazingly, enough. This is an opportunity for you to look deeper and get to know yourself, understand that you do not need his nor anyone’s attention or reassurance to feel the amazingness, the wholesomeness of *you*.

Your relationships with yourself will be reflective of your relationship and communication with each other. Relationships are the sure fast ways to bring up all our issues, be it conscious or unconscious. And each year into the relationship will bring about new lessons, giving you the opportunity to grow in the union and more importantly as individuals. You can only love another, as deeply as you love yourself.

I’m glad to hear you’ve decided to work on this. It’s not going to be an easy journey, but it’s going to be such a breakthrough into getting to know yourself deeper. Communicating with yourself on a deeper level. And finding in each other, the love you feel so fiercely for yourself.

J