and finding love again is possible…and its going to be the best thing…but its not so easy…i know even if the greatest love comes to u on its own tomorrow…u will not accept it so easily…but waiting for something to happen is not good…it creates a void untill tht thing happens..so you yourself must fill tht void or not let it happens..one shud be fulfilled with wat they have ..not wait for something…else it will create imbalance in mental strenght..the best way one can stay fulfilled it,,giving out selflessly…i mean helping others,charity ,social work etc..i work for animals..so even though i go thru emotional tornados,my love for animals is greater than my life so i keep going..thts the purpose of my life..

Hi sonja, i sort of new this wud happen, this guys mind works only at the extreme ends like some bipolar,but more than tht he is not true not even to himself. im very angry for wat he has done. he does feel guilty but he is uncontrollable.you dont desere to be treated like this.you know, im very very broken in life right now,mentally…but you are more important…please take care…and please dont cry ,now , consciously start accepting the realities.you are very wise. dont fear wat will happen tomorrow.stay calm and strong.

Hi Sonja,

The psychology part you said makes a lot of sense to me. Surprisingly now i realized that i have a close friend with whom i share a similar relation. We really are close friends but he is so insensitive towards me. im starved,no friend will be like this,i shout at him, fight, but i give up changing him coz i dono why but im happy wenever i get to talk to him(not really,only he talks and i listen only)but still we are good friends and he is a sweetheart,very innocent and for him im his only close frend and for me i dono,i just want him to be there,for me to feel everything is alright…its a strange relationship coz there is no balance,but still its very strong. So i feel even if u leave your husband and move on,he wont be able to leave you,he is dependent on you emotionally or something,he might be having a feeling like everything is ok when u are around. i feel he might not move on,and i feel with the kind of personality he has he wont be able to find somebody else,or nothing that can match wat you have given him,so he will be always wanting to be back with u. if you let go now,his immature mind might get a beating..he might start to realize what he had and how secure he had felt then..but it will be slow. he might calm down with more aging. just some thought i got on the basis of my frendship. you are a very strong person,concentrate on you career and try to move away,and see how he reacts, until u are with him he will feel everything is alright/safe and might never realize how he is losing things. correct me if im thinking off the track abt the whole thing.

I just had to respond. I totally agree with Abhinand. You are currently weak,hurt,very emotional.you are taking a decision because you got hurt.I think a decision is right when its well thought of considering both sides .I understand your feelings esp. when u say he was the love of your life. but i advice you to get calm. stop thinking about the pain he caused you,he did this to you,he did that you n all tht. For now leave the “you” part and think about the the whole relationship,where things started going wrong…whether somewhere,something that you took for granted.this is not finding your faults, this is respecting the fact that we are all humans and not perfect,we dont have to be anyways.But our efforts should be perfect…upto 100%. Effort to love,to live,to forgive,to correct,to restart and live again. Forget about the result but there should be effort put in first before anybody gives up.
Let me remind you human mind is always always inconsistent,changing,like some one called it ‘the drunk monkey’,most people dont have the control over it. So,try to find out if he is/was not strong, weak minded,if he needs help or something.If he does need help then you as the stronger one can provide it. And if he is really bad person then you will know within minutes and then you know he doesnt deserve any chance.You might be able to do this considering the fact that he was the love of your life once. This kind of closure is good. This will bring surety and clarity on all the things.You will be sure about yourself, what you are ,your emotions,your strenght,your weakness,your respect,your life. This is the way you build your strength mentally and in your practical life again,and not by crying,remembering of those times,feeling cheated and feeling pity/sad, and struggling to cheer up again, burying the events,trying to forget things…all that is too hard. Be strong and face your sorrows, you can definitly eliminate them. This is my way of dealing with life ,could help you too.

Thanks