Dear Anita,

I hope you’re doing well. The weather where I live was really pleasant today. And I hope you get a nice weather where you are too.

I’m adding on this thread for another advice.
My best friend got diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar recently. She’s having a hard time with meds and trying to keep with new “go to sleep on time” instruction. The doctor says it’s important for bp meds to work and such, and she says she feels extremely lethargic and unmotivated if she gets a full nights sleep. Meaning the only way, she thinks, for her to be productive is through a wonky sleep schedule that let’s her pull all-nighters here and there. And she’s somehow also energetic on days she hasn’t gotten enough sleep.
Along with the sleep issue, she’s also going through a depressive episode. She stated that she’d rather not like to call it one, but I guess that’s what it is.

We call almost everyday for atleast 2 hours to catch up on things. And I feel guilty these days after she’s done calling. She sounds tired and low a lot. Is there a way I can make it better? What should a good friend do in this situation? What’s the best I can do? And what I might do to make it worse?

Thanks for listening, as always. Have a great day

-Javairia

Dear anita,

Thank you so much for the compliment, I appreciate it!

Dear anita,

I took my time to reply. Thank you for letting me take it

I re-read the previous posts. A lot of things make sense; how you put them there, and also in this post. The angry-crazy-critic especially makes sense. And also why it is there. As you mentioned here: “It will be possible for you to distinguish between your irrational inner critic and your rational inner critic  when you weaken the first and strengthen the second over time and practice.” It definitely is through thorough and slow practice, that weaknesses and strengths are worked on.

From those previous conversations I found something similar that I will hold onto for a while from now: “Let this concept sink in, bit by bit, over time, let it slowly neutralize the overthinking.”

Because it sounds like one of the optimal affirmations I was looking for, to tell myself from time-to-time. In order not to burden myself, and not to rush.

About your reply to the second question: It sounds like an inspiring response to me! I am refreshed to read it; the reminder that we have the power to learn and re-learn (and also, un-learn) is one of the most relieving and beautiful things. Truly inspiring

Regards,

Javairia

Dear TeaK,

Yes it helped me. I hope you have a nice day

Dear c,

Thank you very much for sharing your experience. And I’m so glad to know you’ve been doing better after all that you had to deal with. These for sure are escapist tendencies. I totally get where you’re coming from, that those idealistic fantasies set high expectations onto your real world and adult self. I find myself indulging in these fantasies that interfere with my future goals,  and expectations. So I tend to write them down and talk myself through each of them time-to-time. But I know they will get out of control and I will not be able to verbalize every single thing one day. So a balance, like in everything, is needed.

Thanks again for sharing your story. I hope you well for your future and everything

Regards,

Javairia

Dear TeaK,

Thanks a lot for the nice suggestions, I do take walks outside often, but I think I need to slow down a bit and breathe some nice air too! Thanks again.

TeaK,

Thank you very much for the reply. I do relate to the description you put out. Maybe it’s also a way to deal with unpleasant/traumatic memories as you said. I didn’t feel the large part of grief of childhood trauma until I was 15 or 16, perhaps I was numbing the stressing part of it through this stress coping mechanism; by dissociating.

I do have a school counsellor, and she recommended me to hang in there before being able to move out. She said that I can focus on studying and other personal goals, later I’m moving out for university anyway.

Thanks a lot for the nice suggestions, thinking of going out in fresh air more around trees.

-javairia