Hey Hannah

Thanks for your post and wanting to create a positive change in your life. This is the first step for success so congratulations.

It is great that you have made a list of areas, which need improvement. Now you would like help to figure out where to begin this journey, yeah ? I will share my perspective here in the hope that it will inspire you to commence on your forward journey.

1. You need to see your local GP to see if there is any medical cause for your tiredness or listlessness. When we don’t have the energy to do our daily tasks, it is difficult to cultivate positive habits like exercising or putting good food into the body. Your body is drawn to lower energy things to keep the balance going.

2. You can trial chinese acupuncture if no medical reason is found for your tiredness. Find a good practitioner in your locality. Chinese acupuncture has many benefits and one of the side effects of this therapy is that it corrects all the hormonal balances (which blood tests cant pick up) in the body leading to improved flow of energy.

3. You need to have a chat to yourself. You need to decide who is in control – YOU or YOUR MIND. If you are in control then you will give orders to your mind and it will carry out the tasks as given. If your mind is in control then you will run away from your goals. This is one of the main reasons for avoidance behaviours.

Do you know why you avoid things ? Do you have some form of fear of failure or feeling rejected etc ? Check your childhood or teenhood and I think you should find the reason for this trait. Then consciously work on changing it by becoming in-charge of your mind. I can suggest more strategies if you wish later on.

4. Get into the habit of sleeping on time each night regardless of what happens. Once you get adequate sleep each night and your subconscious brain is recharged overnight, you will feel much better the next day.

Once you have sorted the above steps out, you can work on other areas in a few weeks.

Best wishes,

Jasmine

2.

Thanks The Ruminant. I am sorry if you thought that was harsh or uncalled for. Appreciate your feedback 🙂

Jasmine

🙂 Finally the penny drops !!!!!

Well done The Ruminant.

Rewa, what language do you speak ?

Wowo Nepal, eh ! What a beautiful country. You are blessed 🙂

Rewa, I am not irritated. If I was, I wouldn’t be banging my head with you on TB 🙂

I strongly desire for you to come out of this hole but I am not sure how much I can help if you are not willing to help yourself. You seem to be attention seeking and need so much validation for the same things. I cant offer that online. If you were here with me, I would have sent you for an adjustment counselling and given you 2 tight slaps on each side to wake you up.

Hey, why don’t you just keep going deeper into the hole ? We don’t have many other options to trial so you might as well continue falling. I am sure when you have had enough, you will either say – I have had enough and runnnn or you will succumb to the societal pressures and go back to being a miserable nun.

Either way, please know that you are in my prayers and I know you will be fine. Give us a shout if you need more attention.

Jasmine

Thanks Matt. Excellent insight as always.

Helllllllooooooooooooo Little Awesome Buddha

“Somethings gotta change, but I’m not sure how to bring about that change. Do I need to move to another city? Get new friends? Get a new job? Find a new calling or purpose in life? Get a new hobby? All of these things seem external to me and I keep reading that happiness comes from within. I just need to find it”

Again, I will share my story and I will try and help you in forming a plan for yourself moving foward. Hey, I only believe in moving forward so you have a choice to join me on the journey or you can keep asking the questions lol.

I have done all the changing of cities, changing of specialities, changing of friends, changing of houses etc in the hope that my suffering would end but guess what…..suffering followed me in a different disguise with the new changes. When I realised that the changing of external environment was not leading to my happiness, I started on the inward journey.

Now, I am going to share my priceless lessons with you. Print them out mate for future 😉

I started with a prayer. Prayer to self. Please help me and guide me so that I can begin an inward journey. Give me all the help that I need to keep me in the right direction. Give me only that much help that I can assimilate at that time and as I grow, I can have more. Let me learn the lessons that I have chosen for myself. Help me let go. FULL STOP.

Tailor-made plan for you, my dear friend:

1. If you have realised that you need to change and you have had enough of your life events to date, learn to take an action and tell your mind that you are in action mode. No more excuses. No more running away. Head on like sumo wrestlers and the winner is going to be YOU and not your mind.

2. Start with baby steps and learn to be kind to yourself if you fail to achieve those goals. Try again in a different style.

3. Your issues stem from childhood and beyond. Let go of your resentment for Dad. Forgive him and realise that he has done the best he could for you. He didnt know any better and still doesnt. Parents do the best for us in their capacities. They are NOT going to change. So let go. Forgive them and feel your heart filling up with love for dad. Then move to mother and other siblings. FULL STOP. No more blaming family for your miseries, no more seeking forgiveness for them as you have already let go now, no more putting them down from today onwards etc. YOU WILL ONLY GIVE THEM LOVE FROM NOW ON.

4. Now moving to Little Buddha – remember all the incidents from you childhood, which brought out the worst in you such as fear, self-doubt, resentment, anger etc. One by one, let go of the incident. See Little buddha having a positive experience instead of a negative experience in that incident. LET GOOOOOOO one by one. If you need to write it down, do so and then burn those incidents away. Visualise them burning away for good. Aaah, what a relief. FULL STOP. No more blame, no more fear.

5. Now move on to your immediate love interests or kids – ex-wife, serious GFs, kids etc. Repeat the same process as you did for your birth family. Now, You are only going to give LOVE to them whenever you meet them.

5. Once you have done above (which will take few days to a few weeks depending on your level of commitment and passion for change), I will share my other tips with you if YOU WANT. Until you become a clean slate, starting an inward journey for good is gonna be very hard. You will keep yo yoing around.

Best wishes my friend. Life is unfolding beautifully for you

Jasmine

Thanks Jane

Hey Little Buddha

Lets flip the question around to positive emotions. Do you tell yourself to not feel the positive emotions either ? Positive emotions are also because of desires. Desires that have been fulfilled. Is that suffering too in your definition ? Logic has no end.

I am not sure about how others deal with their negative emotions but I deal with them head on nowadays as I am more wise now 🙂 Negative emotions arise when our wants have not been fulfilled or when something has not gone the way we wanted it to, yeah ?

Few years ago, my subconscious brain latched on to a phrase I read somewhere, “every incident, relationship, issue, people etc are here for a reason in my life and they are trying to teach me a lesson so that I can become the better version of whom I am and get closer to where I need to be. It is all happening for my highest good”. Since then, emotions have become easier to deal with – both positive and negative. Mind doesn’t get as disturbed as it used to.

I look for the lesson. If I find it, great. I move on and incorporate the lesson into my life. If I cant find the lesson, I let the issue go to junk folder of my subconscious brain and press the mental delete button. All this takes practice. No running away. Sitting down and having a ME chat in nature somewhere is how I tackle this process.

Meditation daily has been another tool that has worked well for me – it is the ultimate charger and gets rid of negativity in seconds. I am also more aware of my triggers such as stress, lack of sleep, lack of food, lack of exercise etc. So I take a pro-active approach most days in MANAGING MYSELF and do not let stress build up in subtle forms.

Lastly, I make it a conscious effort nowadays to accept everyone as they are WITHOUT any questions asked (sometimes, I slip but most days are good). If someone is being a dick, good for him and if someone is being an angel, good for her. I am ME and I practice being ME in all circumstances. This has taken the longest to practice. I used to be quite a critical and judgmental person and I think it stemmed from being a perfectionist in my own mind. So if someone didn’t match up to my standards, I would pass judgments left, right and centre. Since I have let go of the need to be a judge, life has been soooooo awesome that I cant explain to you. Everyone is awesome 🙂 Sometimes, people need that reminder in a gentle manner and sometimes kick-in-the-pants style LOL.

Hope this helps Little Buddha. Keep shining your bright light mate. YOU ARE AWESOMEEEEEEEE

J

Hi Jane @goodkarma1

It is a rather interesting and deep question that you have posted. I would like to share my perspective with you in the hope to inspire you to keep chasing your dreams. I have not read TR’s or now Inky’s post prior to writing mine so pls excuse any doubling up if any.

Who decides if life is meant for something or not ? Who tells us that we are not to go on a certain path ? Who tells us if a certain partner is the right choice and we will have heaps of beautiful bubs with them and live merrily ever after etc ? WE DO.

No one has to let go of any dreams or desires to live peacefully in the world. However, most of us come close to giving up on our dreams easily if we have faced couple of failures (while trying to chase this dream). We sometimes lack the persistence to keep chasing the dream. I think it all comes down to the importance of that dream in your life and what price you are willing to pay to achieve it.

If a dream is really important for your inner happiness and contentment in life, then you have to chase it until it is very clear to you that you are not going down the right path. And trust me, your inner being will tell you when it is time to give up the chase and find a new better dream. Until then, it is chase time, lol

Many people who have succeeded in living a life of their dreams have done so with persistence and introspection. At every step, they reflect on the importance of the dream to their well being and are not afraid of failures. However, if a dream is constantly bringing you sadness, instilling fear, poor health, self-doubts etc then this dream is not worth striving for OR the hidden message is that you need to change your expectations and strategy for achieving that dream.

Life works best when it flows like a river. Try dropping stones or big objects into the river and the water will still find its path around those objects and continue to flow. When the water becomes stagnant for whatever reasons, it breeds diseases. We are so similar. Keep flowing with life and everything feels awesome. Become stagnant with unresolved issues and we start to develop all sorts of anxiety, panic attacks, diseases etc.

And what I have learnt so far is that, no matter how much wisdom we gain or spiritual we become etc….if our worldly dreams are not fulfilled, we aren’t climbing the ladder of spirituality to the max. Only when our deep desires are fulfilled that we are able to progress on the path of self-realisation or reach a state of no-attachments.

Keep striving woman. If one path doesn’t work to getting you where you want to be, then change the path. One of those paths will definitely help you reach where you need to be. Everything happens perfectly for our highest good in the big scheme of things. We just need to develop that vision by being kind to ourselves and our needs 🙂

Best wishes,

J

No worries Purpose.

I agree with what you have written. I have also come to learn that we can only give out what we have. If we have love, we automatically radiate love like how you do it in your posts. It is just in your character. If we have judgements and resentment towards everything, it comes out that way as well, doesnt it ?

I am a work in progress and I plan to keep it this way until the day I leave 🙂

Will keep in touch.

Jasmine