Hi Devon,

When I found your thread, I felt the need to register just to comment. I relate to your feelings and am, actually, going throgh a similar situation. I’m on my early 20’s and I’ve been on a relationship for more than 3 years. Same thing as you: me and my boyfriend did great together, we talked about common interest, we even lived together (which made everything more confusing – imagine sharing a house together, everything there reminds you of you as a couple). I’ve been having this exact feeling, exactly as you described: “not sure if it’s right”. It’s not really rational to explain it like that, but trust me as I say that you’re not the only one who feels that. I believe it’s a common feeling. I’ve actually felt it before in my two last relationships (I’m the master of relationships, yes). Because I’ve felt it before made me be afraid of feeling it again: I knew that this feeling cannot go away. I’ve tried to wait and see if it was a bad phase, but in my experience never worked.

So that was happening again with me and I was observing. Some things happened and made me see we were going to a more serious path together in our life – a few days after, I woke up with an angst so big I felt it in my throat. I knew I had to do something. So I broke up. I tried as hell to feel the right way but I couldn’t. I broke his heart and it felt so bad, I care for him so much. But in the end you need to listen to your heart. I cried as hell, I was really sad, I had to move out from the house because I couldn’t bare to look at our stuff. But in that first night I felt relief. Relief of not feeling the angst, the feeling. So that’s how I knew I did the right thing.

A point I should tell you is that we also had problems in our sex life. It’s been more than one year that I felt we were kind of cold. None of us felt the need to have sex. I mean, we don’t need to have the first-month passion, I know it changes – but it wasn’t right to not feel naturally that you want to have sex. At least for me. We talked and agreed it was a problem and tried some solutions. But in the end, the feeling was the same: we couldn’t do it naturally.

Well, I don’t know if I feel safe giving you advices. You should really listen to your heart. And believe in it. It may be a rough decision but if you feel it’s right, then it’s right. You and me are both young and I really believe we will learn more about love as we live. There are so many special people in the world!