This too shall pass.

You have no power over me.

Not my monkeys, not my circus.

I breathe in compassion, breath out the pain.

this progressed to

I breath in love and compassion… I wish for the release of suffering of all beings.

I breathe in golden light, it travels through my body replacing the pain, opening me to loving kindness.

In the end only kindness matter.

Holding on to anger or hatred hurts me not them. Let it go, Forgive for yourself.

I now meditate and practice compassion meditation. I am more compassionate and patient with myself, family friends strangers and those who irritate or who have harmed me.

You are obviously in turmoil over this relationship. Since you have asked the question here is an honest response meant solely for your benefit and future.

l do not see a peaceful future for you with this guy for the following reasons:

Despite him saying he has just ‘let his marriage breakup go,’ he is still carrying hurt and unresolved issues from it.  He wants to live just to please himself and will no longer be faithful to anyone.        Ask yourself: is this what you want in a relationship you commit to?       I don’t think he is ready or wants to commit to anyone, which includes you. He is still licking his wounds.  He is all over the place relationship wise.

There is chemistry between you. That’s sufficient to build a fling on but won’t sustain a long term relationship. While chemistry is great, it’s something that happens with many people. (Often the cause of affairs in marriage where someone’s integrity is lacking, they want to ‘please themselves’). I’ve been married for 35 years and have met wonderful men with whom the chemistry was electrifying. The men in question usually wanted to pursue it. I didn’t because I am not here just to please myself. I am committed to my relationship as is my husband. That trust is so powerful.  I am not saying this as a bragging statement. I’ve also had a marriage where my husband wasn’t faithful. Needless to say it crashed, burned and tore me up.  Which one of those do you want. A man you can’t trust? It will eat at you and that chemistry until you are just left with a whole lot of why why why?

He is not giving you anything to build a future on. He will be happy to have an intimate relationship with you but don’t mistake it for commitment.

I think you already know the answer to your question. There is only heartbreak ahead. You are already chaotic in your feelings for him. Trying to hold back because you don’t trust the relationship. If he had the depth of feeling for you that you want he would be able to commit to you, (for now). I’m sorry if that seems harsh. I just don’t think he can or will give you what you deserve. Don’t settle for less.

look after yourself, life is too short to live on someone else’s terms.

❤️