Dear anita,

Thank you for taking the time to read and reply. I feel I have had an inferiority complex for a while. For example, I would achieve something very well but would do average/not good the next time. So therefore, it has to be luck that I was able to achieve success the first time. Or I get a job that was hard to get (like too many candidates for one job application), I was just merely very lucky to get it (not because of my skills, interaction, interview, etc). Or if my parents/family able to provide food/shelter/clothing for me during childhood (versus some other children who are unable to have the same things/opportunities), I was just lucky to have such family. If I am able to spend so much money on dental/medical health, I was just lucky I was able to work overtime/extra shifts to save up enough money to do so (and I was just fortunate that I didn’t have any other expenses for family so that I can just focus on my own dental/medical expenses).

Basically,  I attribute a lot of success to luck/things outside my control that I am fortunate enough to lead a normal, average life. So I fear that if I didn’t have the family that provided for me so much or the luck that I was able to graduate school/get a job, able to pay for living expenses (i.e. car, rent, dining out) etc etc, I would be unable to live this same fortunate life if it was “just me in the beginning.” Like do I even have the qualifications and skills and am I good enough to be deserving of everything I currently have? Why are so many others have so many misfortunes when I am able to live a average life? Am I good enough/deserving enough? What did I do to deserve it?

Thank you very much for reading!

Dearest zenkoans,

Thank you for your advice, I shall follow it. You are right, it is unfortunate that these things have to happen but like you said, things can absolutely be worse and no one is an exception.

Thank you for taking the time to read and reply to my posting. I appreciate your advice. Best wishes to you for a long, happy, and healthy life. 🙂

Dear Anita,

Thank you for your response. I live with her and the other family members in the same household.

Thank you for taking the time to answer to share your thoughts.

We are sincerely just very tired. Empty promises, illogical argument, cursing/threats, are all normal to her. Also… I forgot to mention that she has a small child from a previous marriage…. but the rest of the family members are taking turns taking care of the the child. The child is not a lot of work at all but this doesn’t negate her own responsibility as an adult mother.

Example: she stated that she stayed up all night thinking about the bf situation and now feels really sick in the morning so she uses that as an excuse to not job search…. and the other family members have to take the child to and from school, take care of the child all day while she just sleeps all day. She is so blind to how much this is harming her health and she doesn’t even realize it.

I am someone who just found a new job and is currently working to help pay bills and my own student loans. However, I am afraid I will have to eventually get a second job (if possible with time conflicts) in order to support her and her child as well in the future. I know we are family and I sincerely cherish her, but I loathe the fact she doesn’t even TRY at all.

Anita, sorry for the long rant, but I think you for taking the time to read and reply.