Cyd,

I think you still need time to get over that person in addition to just accepting the fact you are not at the stage you would like to be which I sense is the stage where you fully can be at peace with yourself and the event that broke your heart. I know–easier said than done. but I think the fact you realized your state your mind is already a huge step into overcoming your emotions of sadness. God Bless. I hope everything works out for you in time.

Angry after so long,

Know that from what you’re saying, I’m getting the sense you desperately need to seek closure even though you have already tried to do so. Don’t give up. I say meet in person this time and get everything out there. If she declines, then I think her refusal is your closure in its ownself and that’s okay. You at least tried. You deserve to have your feelings put out there in the open. You deserve to fight to be happy even though some stupid chick decided to be unfaithful toward you. God Bless. I hope everything works out for you.

Paul, I have not yet been married, but I have been an avid mediator in my parents’ marriage of 30 years and I have to say, first, have you given yourself the time to ask why this is happening objectively? Take the time aside to heal and understand yourself first, then give yourself the time needed to deal with your spouse. Is there still a silver lining? Have you had that conversation with your wife yet? I wish you nothing but the best in your endeavors to deal with this situation.