I can empathise with you so much, and I am really sorry to hear what you are going through, as I am going through similar feelings. I left my country in order to marry my husband in another country, country which is under-developed and very poor. I, however, didn’t care as my husband and I had made so many plans and I decided to be with him and change my life. A few months into the marriage, he abandoned me and stole from me, I forgave him and took him back, he apologised. He did it once again, but worse this time, as I was very ill, knew nobody and was left with nothing. He apologised again, I called him, I took him back. Third time, I was left completely taken aback, when he did the same thing, and things were getting worse as I had no family, no friends in this country and I was getting worse physically.

He abandoned me after I left everything for him, I felt that I sacrificed so much to be with him, and this is how he repaid me, by betraying my trust and leaving me to fend for myself in a foreign country. I eventually went home to have operations, but had to come back to the country as I have legal issued to sort out. I just feel in limbo, for the last 2 years I have been living in suitcases and boxes. Now I am back where I met my ex husband, I don’t know what I am doing, I still feel confused, I find it difficult to trust again, and feel so stup[id for allowing him to do this 3 times. I often wonder why I allowed him to betray me and abandon me 3 times. Was it because I was in love with him (so I thought) or because I needed him, once I was in his country? I feel for you, as I am still feeling sad and upset and angry at myself, for forgiving him so many times.

Take care