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Jen

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Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)
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  • #190199
    Jen
    Participant

    Your blog is great, Isaac. It will take time to grow. You’ve only been doing this for two weeks and you already have a ton of great content. I see mainly content about strategies for success…not any evidence of you stating how you got rich. Not everybody knows those strategies so you are not being an impostor, you are giving people advice. I started a blog and social media presence a year and a half ago and I worried about this same thing….what other people would think.  Most people love what I’m doing and say they are inspired. So that is all that matters. If there are any haters, you don’t have to give them your time. Why focus on the negative people more than the positive people? And like many entrepreneurs say, “Its a marathon, not a sprint”. It won’t come overnight. Just stay consistent and believe in yourself. Celebrate any victories you get. Like your amount of page views. That’s great. Think of it as you are training yourself to deal with any criticism you will get online in the future..and embrace the criticism because that is when you know you’re doing well. Keep doing what you’re doing.

    #189629
    Jen
    Participant

    You could be around too many depressing situations. Group homes, helping people get their lives going again, your depressed friends. You could be taking in the feelings of these people a little if you are an empath. I don’t know much about psychology, but I do know this same thing happened to me when I was volunteering and only around situations where there was little progress and little hope. I started taking on the emotions of those around me. If this is the case, you can spend more time doing the things you like (or used to like) a little bit each day. Spend time with a few very positive people to help you balance your friends who are having a hard time. Force yourself to do the positive things and work toward a goal for yourself (one that you choose…not a goal that you think you “should” do or somebody wants you to do). What have you always wanted to do? Take a tiny step towards that thing each day. You have to find something that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning. It will be slow, but have patience. It will get better if you take these steps.

    #129175
    Jen
    Participant

    Thank you, Anita! That is great advice. I will remember it and practice it. I appreciate your attention to my concerns. This forum has been so helpful.

    #129093
    Jen
    Participant

    Okay. This sounds accurate. And I remember a few times where I didn’t want my parents to hurt. Thank you for all of your help and for getting back to me so quickly. I already can breathe better. I will take your advice. One last thing, when I become a parent, should I make sure to hide any pain or suffering from my child so they don’t feel the same way?

    #129063
    Jen
    Participant

    Yes, all for the family. I value family so much.

    YES! You got it. I feel like a failure when people are still sad. Like I can somehow help them. Or should help them (even though I know that it is pretty much impossible). Or I have no right to be so lucky if they are born into a difficult situation. So that’s why I became mentally drained after my volunteer stint. I felt like a failure the whole time because nothing I could do could help enough. And then I felt like an extra failure for allowing it to get me so unhealthy physically and mentally (because health is my thing!). To answer your last question, because it is never enough. I need to help more (but in some situations of great pain, I cannot function). So I am too weak to do some of the things that can help the most. For example, I could never be a therapist because I don’t have the skills to separate myself from feeling the pain of others. Or I can’t work in social service settings because they don’t make me feel good about myself (for helping) they make me feel terrible for the person suffering.

    #129051
    Jen
    Participant

    I like to help people be healthy because that is a strength of mine. So I taught life skills including health at that rural village. Also with my mom, I would help her with health advice. And my dad…well he had issues with this step-sis for years so he vented to me and I helped him stay positive. I was in high school when I would give the advice.

    #129031
    Jen
    Participant

    I can’t recall anybody ever being displeased with me. Aside, from small trivial things like I forgot a birthday, or something very small…in which most people know my personality and know that I mean no harm so have never been angry with me. I have an internal agenda that I feel is a very strong one towards ‘good’ and my parents, teachers, friends, etc, have always admired it..even from the youngest age. I just knew the ‘right’ thing to do and even helped my parents with advice. I’ve never fit in because I don’t have the desire to. I do my own thing, as well as do good for people. This is the first time I’ve had anybody displeased with me like this (who I was close to). And I think that must be the problem. I must be really saddened by it because I’ve never suffered this kind of loss. Also, I’m still trying to re-build myself after a deep depression that I acquired from living in an isolated environment (volunteering in a rural village in a developing nation and felt too sad by the things I saw around me. I wasn’t good at coping and so I beat myself up because I ‘failed’ at staying strong through it all). I came back and it was the first time I needed guidance and support from my friends/family. She was the only person to leave me during this dark period of my life. I’m recovering from this now so am still regaining my strength each day!

    #129009
    Jen
    Participant

    Thank you so much for this response! Yes, I’m a people pleaser. I want people happy and I don’t want to have ever hurt anybody. I’m getting better with setting boundaries because I’ve seen how people will take advantage of this – leaving me hurt. Our parents let us raise ourselves really. But gave us a lot of love. Yes, I have insecurities too. And they are getting worse because I’m allowing myself to think that if people are bad to me, it’s because I’m a bad person. Instead of KNOWING it is them and their issues. At this point, there won’t be any family therapy because the family is split – nobody wants to work on it aside from me (and now I have given up too because the step-sis has confirmed she doesn’t care). It is up to me now to move forward and refocus my energy to the positive. However, still, the letting go thing is not working for me and I am trying so hard. I am also working on not letting people get me down and just being myself and following my own path.

    #128929
    Jen
    Participant

    We rarely lived together permanently though. Usually for a couple months at a time only. The rest of the time, I was with my mom and sister.
    By the way, this is Rekalitsoe…just logged in with a different name accidentally 🙂

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Jen.
    #128923
    Jen
    Participant

    She isn’t related by blood. My dad’s wife’s daughter. And we were close growing up, but I always tried to avoid conflict. I guess I more have a feeling of jealousy from her behavior or the way she looks at us…so I could be wrong. She doesn’t have any blood sisters or cousins. She is the only child and the only niece in her family. All of the relatives our mine and my sisters. And my sister and I are so close so when I saw her picking on my sister too, I protected my sister. So maybe I’m feeling guilty for giving special treatment to my real sis…but it was because I felt she was innocent. So a lot of what I’m doing is speculating because I cannot get the answers from her. So what I need to do is know there is nothing I can do (because o tried everything) and forget and let go. But o still feel terrible to do that even though she was the one to break it up.

    But growing up she was always spoiled a lot and treated well. She would tell our parents what to do until they did those things. I let it happen and now that we’ve said ‘no’ she is over us. However, we were good friends and she has done some many nice things for me on the past so I don’t understand the change. By the way, I left the country for a few years, came back different. My perspective had also changed after returning to the US so I saw my family dynamics differently. Does this help?

Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)