I was reading your post and thinking that your boyfriend sounded like a heavy social drinker (which is “normal” in some cultures). That was before I read that he had already negative consequences from his drinking (the DUI) and that he said that “life is boring that is why he drinks”. I think that in some cultures alcohol plays a big role in socialising and people always drink something when they meet. Also people consider normal having a drink or two at night. However, 4+ drinks (what do you mean exactly by drinks? standard drinks?) every time he drinks (which seems to be everyday) and getting sloppy drunk 1/2 times a week seems a bit too much. Apparently he does this on his own (you didnt mention that it happens in a social context) and apparently also to cope with negative feelings. You are seeing this as a difference in “lifestyle”, because you seem to want to spend your free time in a very different way. This would be of course a problem and already difficult to cope with. However, I think that your relationship shows more problematic elements. I think he has an unhealthy relationship to alcohol, you two are lacking intimacy (basic in a relationship under my point of view) and you are probably obsessing about him, unable to make a decision and making excuses for his behaviour (codependence). You can’t choose how he is acting and what he is doing. You can only take care of yourself so as some people suggested, you need to find out for yourself what to do. I would recommend you would get some external help (therapist?) and give this relationship a break until you find out what your feelings really are and what your decision is. Feel free to message me (I have been in a very similar situation lately…). I wish you all the best