Pixelpixie,

I have been in your situation before when it cam time for me to breakup with my high school sweetheart. We had been together for about 7 years but I wasn’t happy. It took a lot for me to break it off, but in the long run, it would have been worse if I hadn’t. She is now happily married to someone who loves her just as much as she loves him. If we had stayed together, I would have ended up causing more hurt than anything. In time, there would have been neglect, resentment, and cheating involved due to not being happily satisfied.

Rock Banana sums it up pretty much.. You don’t cause his happiness, only he can.

But you can also look at it from a different perspective. You could be holding him back from someone who he really deserves, who will be just in love with him as he is with you. Ask yourself, is you being unhappy in your marriage, worth not knowing if you both could be extremely happy in separate relationships…

JVR,

Learning to say NO may be one of the most difficult things to overcome. I was also raised by a parent who had similar characteristics. My mom, who could be the sweetest lady in the world at times, always got things to go her way. Even when she would do nice things, it would be on her terms. (For example: She would buy new shoes without me having to ask, but they wouldn’t be shoes I wanted, they would be the shoes she wanted me to have… Or when choosing a school, she let me pick which ones I wanted to go to, but still ended up going to the one she wanted). It goes on and on.. Saying that, trust you are not alone.

Spending your childhood like that, you’re accustomed by now to just go with the flow. I would advise to start by saying NO to small things first. It could be something as simple as saying NO when you are invited to go out. That is where I am at now and it isn’t easy because you have the fears that you stated about “what-if? will they leave me? will they think bad about me? will they don’t accept or recognize me for all I have done to them so far”. The truth is, if saying NO to someone changes how they react to you, then how genuine were they in the first place???

This is my first response on here as well so I hope it helps. This struck a chord with me so I couldn’t resist.