Hi JFlow,

Try to focus on the facts, not on hear say/second hand information from others.  Discuss the issue with only people that have direct involvement.  People that tell you what they “heard” are increasing your stressors.  It’s not information they are sharing …it’s gossip.

Write down things that you do know are facts [Information that can be reference in a document or policy are facts] then review it.  You will have a clear understanding on how things transpired.  Most importantly your response is articulate.

Also by avoid thoughts that are  based on assumption.

Hope that helps.

Hi Laura,

I meet a wonderful guy who treated me well, but my fears and self sabotage cost me our relationship. He forgave and forgave until he said he no longer could.  I am ashamed of my actions and irrational behavior.  He did what was best for his happiness and that was to leave me.

As Anita posted earlier, take it slow.  Enjoy time spent together instead of worrying about the “what if’s”.  We can’t protect ourselves from getting hurt.  It’s a chance we all take in order to find happiness and love.

If his actions and words show and tell you he cares then let yourself find comfort and joy in it.  I can’t fix my relationship but I am working on my self.