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Perry

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  • October 6, 2015 at 3:54 pm #84857
    Perry
    Participant

    @Anita: Sure I’m willing to do that, but how would I go about it? My childhood was pretty great. I was outgoing and had loads of friends. I’ve been angry since the 2nd year of my university. That is when I found my self-confidence is really bad. In my 2nd year of university was when I was denied entry into an internship program at my university. Entry into the program would have been great for my career. My life has been in a downward spiral ever since. I’ve also developed a dislike for social events since university started.

    @moongal: I’m 24, as I said. I’m working as a security guard. My life is pretty much work, sleep and study. I’m studying to hopefully get another degree, since my last one is useless. I live with my parents so that makes meeting girls even harder, but I kinda have to. I have no social life. No idea how to make friends.


    @brian    : I’ll get back to you.

    October 5, 2015 at 4:01 pm #84787
    Perry
    Participant

    I’m going to reply to everyone at once.

    The most common theme I’ve heard from people is that I’m very negative and I bring people down. I had a very short term casual relationship with a girl and she left me for another guy. The other guy is complete opposite of me. He’s outgoing, fun loving, positive etc. I’ve been told I depress people and bring them down.

    Another thing I’ve observed that in the dating world, as a man, I have to be the one who approached and pursues women. That’s my role. If I don’t fulfil that role, I’ll be alone, like I have been. The thing is I have minor social anxiety which means asking a girl out is a huge deal. Add to that, that I have no self-confidence and that is critical, because as a man, I have to be confident one in order to take the rejections that come with dating. It’s just a part of the deal.

    Another problem is that I have no social life. Where do people go when they have no friends? Need friends to make more friends. I don’t know what it is, but people are just not attracted to me. I’m the only one putting in effort to make it work, and it leads nowhere. I guess my biggest problem is I don’t know how to meet people or form a good first impression.

    October 5, 2015 at 3:17 am #84744
    Perry
    Participant

    Title is supposed to say anyone, rather than the I

    October 5, 2015 at 3:02 am #84742
    Perry
    Participant

    This may be rude, but I think you need to be alone for a while and not to get with anyone Focus on other stuff, focus on your studies or other hobbies and try to make genuine friends.

    I’m simply failing to understand why you kept on going back to that abusive even though you knew he was no good for you? Was it because you were afraid of being alone? Not getting back with him should have been a no brainer. I have no doubt he’ll try to come back, but you have to say no to him this time.

    To me, it seems like you over complicate things for yourself by getting involved with too many people at once. I agree with Anita, that you should end it with all three. As I said, focus on other stuff. This will help you learn about yourself and perhaps find out what kind of person you want to be with.

    September 3, 2015 at 11:51 am #82803
    Perry
    Participant

    Unfortunately I live in the city. I did go on a month long vacation to California, but it didn’t help much. It just boggles my mind how people can be so close to you one day and so distant the next. Also, the ease with which she let me go hurts as well. It’s like I didn’t even matter towards the end.

    September 2, 2015 at 7:49 pm #82739
    Perry
    Participant

    Not well. It’s been 4 months. It also happened right around the time I got fired from a job, so suffice to say it was the worst timing ever. I’m not really sure I’ve coped with it, because I feel really really depressed. Hopefully thing get easier in the future.

    September 2, 2015 at 2:55 pm #82735
    Perry
    Participant

    Chances are it was over for her much before than when she broke it off. Probably happened when that person came into her life. Same thing happened to me. She said “I have no feelings for you anymore. I don’t want us romantically. That ship has sailed”. Forget her and move on. Just like she did to you. You deserve better.

    September 2, 2015 at 9:12 am #82728
    Perry
    Participant

    Another thing I’d add is that you should never make her so important in your life that she’ll be the difference between life and death for you. That’s a really dangerous line to walk and putting too much pressure on her to make you happy. You need to sort out your own depression first.

    September 1, 2015 at 4:17 pm #82685
    Perry
    Participant

    Thank you for your kind words but everything feels so depressing right now. I don’t feel like doing anything. I stayed in contact with her for a while after it became official, but I’m on no contact right now.

    August 31, 2015 at 8:31 pm #82643
    Perry
    Participant

    @ jeena: She was just coming out of a relationship and I’m guessing she was still in love with her ex. I was essentially a rebound. I had been pushing for almost a year, but she would always say “I’m not ready for a relationship” and so I gave her as much time as she wanted. Now I know what she meant was “I don’t want a relationship with you”.

    August 30, 2015 at 11:37 am #82588
    Perry
    Participant

    I call myself an ugly personality because I tend to be very pessimistic and that rubs EVERYONE the wrong way.

    I’m in a lot of pain emotionally because I was so close to her emotionally and I thought she was as well, but apparently not. I think the loss of a best friend hurts more than the loss of a romantic partner. She can’t be friends with me because her bf would object to it.

    August 25, 2015 at 9:57 am #82360
    Perry
    Participant

    What makes it worse that it’s obvious we get along very well and immensely enjoy the company of each other. She has social anxiety and she said me and her ex are the only two people in the world she felt fully comfortable around. She’s repeatedly told me that she finds me very attractive physically, so I’m left scratching my head wondering what the hell was the problem then.

    June 22, 2015 at 10:10 am #78633
    Perry
    Participant

    Well I’m not sure. When I confessed my feelings to her eventually, she said she didn’t know i felt so strongly and that it’s too late to anything about it now. So maybe we could have been together had I confessed before.

    Of course I’m honouring her decisions, which is why I’m requesting her to block my number, so I can go away from her life.

    edit: why do you say she’s not even available to her current bf.

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 6 months ago by Perry.
    June 22, 2015 at 9:46 am #78631
    Perry
    Participant

    Thank you for the reply Anita.

    The thing is, she had gone on exchange to europe for the past 6 months. It was during this time that I realized that I had fallen for her. I was hoping to confess my feelings once she came back because I thought it would be better to do so in person. Little did I know, her would be bf visited her a month before was to come back and proposed to her right there. Had I known about this, I would have confessed to her.

    June 22, 2015 at 9:04 am #78629
    Perry
    Participant

    The fact that hurts even more is that she doesn’t even feel close to her bf. She said that “she couldn’t care less if her bf kisses another girl. She feels single”. I feel like she got pressured into this relationship.

    I NEED TO STOP THINKING ABOUT HER THOUGH! IT ONLY MAKES ME FEEL WORSE!

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