Thank you for answering!

Lockdown is expected to end in two weeks, well week and a half right now. I had some assignments until now. I don’t have friends at college (the ones I had moved away to another town) and I am not much interested in the courses..so I am not really motivated to go. Though it is better than being at home all the time.

When depression first hit me, it was also when I was moving into another town (close by, half an hour by car). And my parents and sister were mostly focused on that, how to organise everything. Of course, they noticed I wasn’t feeling well and I told them I need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist.. we had some extra money then, but they were against it. They thought it wasn’t that serious and that the tea would be enough to help. I talked to them a few times and cried a lot, but… my mother told me something like that other people have problems also and they take pills for anxiety for a while or something, like I need to find a way to deal with it. My father mentioned once that I could talk to the family doctor (for a few times), he is also a psychologist, but usually pretty busy. And I need to talk to someone at least once a week. Also, I wouldn’t be comfortable talking to him about my family. I haven’t talked about this to my sister, she is pretty grounded and practical, she doesn’t understand my sensitivity. She knows about it, but never asked me anything.

I talked about it after that whole period, how I wasn’t feeling much better, but I got the same answer. After six months I stopped caring and trying to change things. I continued with my studies just because it’s a habit. At home I was reading or watching tv and I hang out with my best friend once a month. I also have a bad habit of daydreaming (inventing stories in my mind) and I started to isolate myself. This is how it is from March 2019.