Dear Dreaming,

Just some food for thought for you.  I know how disappointed you are feeling.  However,  you might think a bit about how in a loving relationship is about giving aas well as receiving. Rather than focusing on him not giving you sex on your birthday,  you mught think about giving to him – physically and sexually to show your appreciation and love for all of those tgings he does for you

Whilst it’s possible that you are not sexuallt possible, its also possible that you are still getting to know him sexually,  what he likes and what he doesnt.

You posted in your other thread that he is often tired.  You might consider givibg him a massage.  Dont be surprised or disappointed if he falls asleep sometimes.  After a while,  you will know when to stop the massage and please him in other ways.

Whilst its true that most men like their women to look nice,  male desire is often about more than that.

Hello Fruzsina,

Thank you for such a kind and wise rrpky.  I only just saw it.  I hope thibgs are going well for you X

Dear Ally,

From the way your post reads, it sounds  very much like he has his children every night.  Is this right?

I think you need to seriously ask yourself what he has to offer you.

I cant say anything about the other man because you really dont know him yet.  However,  he is a reminder to you that there are other men out there who would be interested in you who probably have much more to offer you than your current boyfriend

Risha,

I dont mean to alarm you or make you feel bad,  but his behaviour concerns me that he may harm you ohysically if you dont put a stop to this very soon.

If you were my daughter,  I woukd want you to leave that workplace and move on.

Big Hugs to you Fruzzsina.  Im going through similar to you right now,  but this time,  is the first time I recall that I think Im actually dealing okay and feeling grounded again.

May I suggest googling “healing meditations for heart Chakra”. Im at work but will be back later. Its definitely helped me – very simple and fast healing exercise to do whenever you want and hrlps a lot of people

Also think about this – love is an action,  not a feeling.  X

• This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by HoneyBlossom.

Hi Mayra,

Very good advice from Anita.

I understand your fears related to not wanting to end up in a toxic marriage like your parents.

I married very young as did my sisters (3).  I think that all of us were scared of ending up in a marriage like our parents,  and I chose a man who seemed unlike my father.   I believe that all of us were too fast to settle into marriage/long-term partnerships because we craved the love and stability which we didnt  have in the home we grew up in.  Not surprisingly,  of the 4 adult girls who married young,  only one of those marriages was to last.  The reasons my own marriage ended were different to the reasons my parents divorced after a long unhappy marriage.

I was in my very early twenties when I married.  I did travel overseas, but with the man I married.  In hindsight,  I wish I had done as you have and travelled alone or with other female friends

I have an adult son who has travelled widely – over a couple of years,  and Ive seen how this has benefitted him in many ways. He is very early 30s now,  and talking about a future abd marriage with his lovely partner.   This is not the same girl he was with at the beginning of his travelling who he had been with for a few years,  and a lot of people assuned they would marry.  To me,  these two (he and his current partner)  are perfect for each other.

Ive seen the same with his friends and other people I have known.  They travel,  establish their careers, more travel,  and then they seem more at ease with themselves and have clarity about what they want and who is right for them.

I recall that when he travelled, he met a few girls who were very keen,  one wanting to marry him.  In his case,  none of those lasted though friendships did.   He met his current partner back home after the travelling.  They have been to Japan together and planning a trip to USA.

Personally,  I think that you will be glad if you defer commited long-term relationships for the time-being and focus on the other things,  especially travel,  therapy,  friends and work.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by HoneyBlossom.

Btw,  it turned out that one mans “lack of interest” was because he was getting it somewhere else on the side.   Not saying thats necessarily the case for you,  but it is for many people