Thanks, Jennifer. Your post resonates a lot with me. I do not trust myself although I do believe myself to be very intelligent. Love is just so different in that aspect. Men everyday ruin great relationships with wonderful women by cheating or causing women to leave them due to their inability to be faithful. What trips me up is what if he’s fooling me? What if he’s checking out someone at his job? What if he doesn’t love me as much as he says? All these thoughts while his behavior proves none of it. So much sabotage and I wish I could stop it. I’ve done some researching for therapists in the area and I am going to try to get something set up soon. I am so tired of this ongoing circle of doubt and fear and plain old negative energy. I want to trust him and have fun and enjoy our relationship but that’s impossible with all the crap flying around in my head.

I’m actually reading a book on borderline personality disorder & another on receiving love. these are helping me to a certain extent but i still can’t quite get a hold of my mindset. these thoughts come on so strongly that i will ruin a perfectly good night with my boyfriend, go in my room, and shut him out. i don’t know what to do anymore. i honestly hate that he’s making friends at his job that are girls but there’s nothing i can do about it.