i just know i’m going to go back to my negative thinking in a matter of time though. this is so frustrating.

my troubles seems too big right now to focus on much else.

what do you focus on?

i just feel as though i don’t deserve to be happy or get what i want. i wish i didn’t but this is what life has shown me.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 2 months ago by chelsea.

i think i’m going to work my last two shifts and quit. i’m over sacrificing my happiness for money. that’s been my entire life and i’m done. completely frustrated this morning and ran across this when i got on facebook.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by chelsea.

@gavrev said:
I’d pause to wonder whether you’re focussed too much on him and the things which are blocking connection between the two of you, and allowing them to foster stress between the two of you.. I’m not placing any blame anywhere, but I’m guessing maybe you don’t look much towards the things you like about life yourself, such as hobbies or the things that make you “you”?

i think you nailed it.

You’re so right, actually. We mostly have opposite work schedules so I don’t feel like we connect as much as we’d like. Sex is rare, unfortunately. And when we are together, I am bitter about the fact that we never see each other, especially when he wants to take time away from us to go do some things that make him happy like fishing or skateboarding. I get jealous sometimes when his time goes to other things when we already have so little time together as a couple. I’m struggling with this right now. I just miss him and love him so much. In a perfect world we would travel and be together all the time. haha 🙂

thank you, annie! yes, i believe that God has my back 100% but at the same time, i wish there were a better feeling solution than breaking up. i love this man so much. my first real relationship and i’m in pieces right now yall. please pray for him to get his life on track and realize his worth and how much he can do with himself if he really tries. i hope we reconnect in the future. i can’t imagine us not speaking again.

what can i do in the mean time to quell this heartache?

You guys are wonderful. Thank you so much for easing my mind. Dharmesh, your words are so true. I actually DO think of my desires with a bit of doubt in mind because I can’t see the ‘how’ in achieving my dreams. Where will the money to move come from? How will I find a job/apartment in a big city I don’t currently live in? All these questions! I just don’t think the universe has that much love for me because I don’t feel I am worthy of such awesome things because so many people my own age can achieve these things so easily and I feel like everything in my life is a struggle. My dreams feel “bigger” than me. Bad mindset, I know. I don’t want my dreams to fall apart but I’m so scared they will. I just want to be in a place where I don’t feel bored everyday. I’m tired of the monotony but I don’t see how the universe will come through on this one. I wish I had stronger faith but I don’t feel love from the universe sometimes. Everything in my life happens so slowly and behind everyone else. It isn’t fair but life isn’t supposed to be, I guess? I just want to be there and not here in mississippi.