@anita thank you. This is it for us and the 6 year relationship..end of everything we were and had within each other. The good and the bad and now need to focus on forgetting and moving on.

@anita It wasn’t being protected from a certain thing as such but more having someone that cared if I was okay and how my health was and am I happy, protection in that sense. Upset if anyone made me upset and protective over my happiness. Having someone to look after me and look after too if that makes sense?

@anita

Thank you for those wise words. Enough is enough but I feel like this now and tomorrow morning will be down. When we tried to resolve it this time he did say he would go relationship counselling however funds meant we could not do it. As said before I acknowledge this has mentally effected me to the point where being alone scares me. I feel like i need that protection and someone to talk to and everything positive that comes with relationships. I went from being independent and strong to feeling the need of someone. No one will protect me apart from myself and its sad to see this end but it does seem like its best to end it than to save it..

Thank you Inky. I think i’m so blinded that its helpful to see the picture from the outside. I find it so unfair how he can drop and pick this relationship as he pleases and I let him which is my fault. He used to be so nice and caring and this last time we tried he did make me so happy but can change his mind within a day. Hes very pride driven so doing this after marriage would be a insult on his family but even if he was to change after marriage there is no guarantee. That is not right before or after marriage and the worst thing is I know this but still let myself forgive him thinking he’ll change. Now I wake up in the morning crying and during the night looking at my phone to see if i’ve receive a message or call. I’ve gone down lengths so changing number and he’s cut off all social media but he always finds a way to get back to me because he knows he can. One minute I feel fine and let myself feel these emotions and next I am wrecked and just want him. I thought it would get better but it isn’t. Everyone that knows us says he does love me and we are meant for each other but I think I deserve better and now don’t know how to move forward. I suppose to fear of him moving on and me being alone also doesn’t help as he done this. 🙁 I must sound so silly!