Buddhism

The Four Noble Truths

1. Suffering (dukkha): Everyone suffers to some extent. We have to recognize and acknowledge the presence of this suffering.

2. Arising of suffering (samudaya): After we recognize and acknowledge our suffering, we need to look deeply into it. We have to recognize and identify the sources of our suffering.

3. Cessation of suffering (nirodha): Without suffering, there is no happiness. We have to understand this and realize that healing is possible.

4. the Path (marga): the way to achieve healing and happiness, the Noble Eighfold Path.

To really understand the Four Noble Truth, we have to practice the twelve turning of the wheel of the Dharma:

1. Recognition: We cannot run away from our suffering. We may try to deny our suffering, but it always persists. We need to treat our suffering with kindness and compassion: “My dear suffering, I know you are there, I am here for you, and I will take care of you.” We pluck up the courage and recognize, acknowledge and identify our suffering.

2. Encouragement: We must be brave to look deeply into our suffering and understand its true nature, which means its cause(s). We can do it by mindfulness, meditation or with the help of our friends, family or sangha when necessary. We need to be open to our suffering and get to the bottom of it.

3. Realization: We are able to name our suffering and identify all of its characteristics, which alone brings us happiness and joy.

Four Noble Truth and the twelve turnings:

Suffering

• recognition: “This is my suffering.”
• encouragement: “I need to understand my suffering.”
• realization: “I understand my suffering.”

Arising of Suffering

• recognition: “This leads to my suffering”
• encouragement: “I need to understand this.”
• realization: “I understand this.”

Cessation of suffering

• recognition: “Healing is possible.”
• encouragement: “My healing should be obtained.”
• realization: “My healing is obtained.”

the Path

• recognition: “There is a way, a path that can lead me to happiness.”
• encouragement: “I am determined to live this path.”
• realization: “I live the noble Path.”

In my next post about Buddhism, I am going to write about the Noble Eightfold Path and 4 noutriments which can lead to our suffering or happiness.

Hello Helcat, thank you for your thoughts! You are right. I had more stressful and negative interaction in my childhood but also during maturing and early twenties. It takes some time to reprogram my mind. But I do feel better. 🙂 A lot of challenges ahead… but nobody said that life is supposed to be easy, right?

Hello Anita, thank you a lot for your support. I am always very happy to see your message.

I really liked the quotes from Hanh’s book which you highlighted:

1. “Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.”

2.  “Anxiety, the illness of our time, comes primarily from our inability to dwell in the present moment.”

3. “Your purpose is to be yourself. You don’t have to run anywhere to become someone else. You are wonderful just as you are.”

1. I believe I still cling to the feeling that people in general don’t like me. And it is hard for me to let it go… I am still working on it. It appears to be a looong way to accept this feeling.

2. Now, it seems to me that I am very happy in the present moment… and it makes me a bit worried to leave the present moment… because then I start to think about future. (my professional life and (in)ability to earn more money)

3. I will write this on a piece of paper and stick it to my PC where I work. I will always remember these words.

By the way, how are you two doing?

Buddhism – inspiration (not only) for me
Buddha was not a god. He was a human being like you and me, and he suffered as we do. If we go to the Buddha with our hearts open, he will look at us, his eyes filled with compassion, and say:
“Because there is suffering in your heart, it is possible for you to enter my heart.”
Please do not think that because you are unhappy, because there is pain in your heart, that you cannot go to the Buddha. (…) Your suffering and my suffering are the basic condition for us to enter the Buddha’s heart, and for the Buddha to enter our hearts. The Buddha said:
“I teach only suffering and the transformation of suffering.”
When we recognize and acknowledge our own suffering, the Buddha – which means the Buddha in us – will look at it, discover what has brought it about, and prescribe a course of action that can transform it into peace, joy and liberation. Suffering is the means the Buddha used to liberate himself, and it is also means by which we can become free.
(Thich Hanh, The Heart of Buddha’s Teaching)
buddha-to-become
Namo Buddhaya

Hello Helcat, thank you for your posts. I’ll read them later again to think about your ideas more. I sent two posts earlier but they are waiting for approval again. (Dec 7, at 16:44)

📔 journal

Today I got a message from the addiction councelling center (which I contacted on Nov 29, 2024) and they were very supportive. However, If my brother is not convinced that he wants to be treated and healed, there is little left to do. They sent me a link where I can find tips how to communicate with him and possibly motivate him to make a change.

There are 4 Ps (in Czech language). Rules for communication. (translated and in a nutshell)

1. Observation (Pozorování): It is important to stick to descriptive language and avoid evaluative language.  (“You drank too much slivovice last night.” vs. “You get pis**d last night again!”) It is not appropriate to use words that are emotionally tinged (such as “get pis**d”) and are easily perceived as condemning the drinker’s behavior, which could lead to an argument. It is harder to disagree with an objective statement of reality.

2. Feelings (Pocity): Say how you feel. Don’t connect your feelings with the drinker’s behavior.

3. Needs (Potřeby): Connect your feelings to your specific needs. They write: “We all have common needs – we all sometimes need closeness, understanding, respect, etc. If we can name our needs, there is a greater chance that the other person (drinker) will understand why we feel the way we do – because he himself has these needs. Accurately naming needs is the most important part of nonviolent communication, and being able to identify your own needs, and possibly the other person’s needs, that motivate current behavior (drinking) will help you better understand both yourself and him.”

==> “When you drank too much slivovice last night, I felt sad because I needed your closeness…”

4. Appeal (Prosba): Make an appeal for a specific behavior. How can the other person fulfil your needs? No commands, no arguments.

==> “When you drank too much slivovice last night, I felt sad because I needed you closeness. Could we speak about what makes you drink?

5. Practice (Praxe): They write: “Non-violent communication takes practice. Most of us are not taught at home or at school how to think and communicate about our needs.  // I couldn’t agree more // But once you learn it, new doors will open for you to understand yourself and others and you will be able to find a way to help them. For a more detailed explanation and understanding of the topic of nonviolent communication, we recommend reading the book Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg.”

This might help others on this forum, too. I will think about it more. Now, I am not ready to communicate with my brother (46). It is very hard. He has many issues. I suspect that he… I mean his brain… is already so damaged by alcohol and drugs that a reasonable non-violent communication with him is no longer possible. He lies a lot. He always did and he created his own reality.

There is also a deep emotional pain. He is not able to speak about it. He actually gets violent when I try to bring up these topics. He then tries to hurt me by bringing up my issues (which are no longer valid… but this is his way to deal with his own issues… to turn everything against others…) He once wanted to persuade me that my dad hurt me and that’s why I have some issues (It never happened! But this is how he reacts, how much he lies and creates “reality” to make his own suffereing easier. ==> tries to change the focus from himself on others and their problems even when it includes a horrible lie)

He has two boys (15 and 10) and it is hard to get to them. They are very reserved. They don’t speak about what is going on at home. Especially, the older one has his own world and he is very bad at communication.

I will see …

(Dec 6, 2024, at 14:27)